


The Only Lasting Truth

by Sprite2b



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Lyrium Addiction, Lyrium Withdrawal, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:48:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 35,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23888461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sprite2b/pseuds/Sprite2b
Summary: Halani, an elven spirit healer bonded to a spirit of protection, arrives at Skyhold with her fellow Cumberland Circle refugees. When she meets the handsome ex-knight-captain of Kirkwall she knows she should avoid him.When Cullen Rutherford resolved to give up lyrium, he never expected Cassandra to suggest he accept the help of a spirit healer to cope with his withdrawal symptoms. Every templar knows that a mage who willfully consorts with denizens of the fade is dangerous, and Cullen will never again allow his infatuation with an attractive mage to make him vulnerable to demons.This story takes place in the background of a play-through in which a female-Lavellan-rogue Inquisitor romances Solas, beginning after Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts and before the attack on Adamant fortress in Here Lies the Abyss.All that you touch You Change.All that you Change Changes you.The only lasting truth is Change.~Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford/Original Female Character(s), Female Lavellan/Solas
Comments: 92
Kudos: 103





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Halani arrives at Skyhold after Leliana completes The College of Magi war-table operation by sending Korbin to rescue the mages and relics from the Cumberland Circle in Nevarra.
> 
> (It's been a LONG time since I last tried to write a Dragon Age fanfic. Apologies in advance if I get canon characters wrong, especially Cullen.)

** Halani **

So this was Skyhold.

The caravan of supply wagons came to a stop at Skyhold's gate, stretched across the bridge and extended along the ridgeline road.

Halani paused to admire the view from the road. The fortress rose out of the mist-enshrouded peak to touch the sky like a castle sanctuary from legend. Her fingers itched for parchment and graphite to sketch the scene. The greater part of the Inquisition army encampment spread across the valley below. The army must be a fearful sight to the Inquisition's enemies, as much as it was a reassuring sight to Halani and the other Cumberland Circle refugees.

A chill breeze caught strands of her hair that had escaped the confines of her long, dark braid, and she smoothed them behind her pointed ears. She resumed walking and caught up to the wagon carrying Senior Enchanter Cornelia and the young elf twins. The precocious pair were the last children brought to the Cumberland Circle before the Chantry dissolved the College of Enchanters.

After Lady Nightingale's dwarven agent Korbin saved them from the angry mob surrounding the golden dome, he'd taken the Cumberland Circle survivors – the twins, three teen apprentices, fifteen enchanters, and two tranquil with the Circle artifacts - by ship to Jader. From there they'd joined a caravan headed to Skyhold. Inquisition agents had even supplied them with warm cloaks and sturdy boots.

The wagon drivers worked to hold back the horses, impatient for fresh fodder and warm bedding. After five days of walking the newly improved road through the frigid Frostback mountains, the Cumberland party shared their anticipation. So far, everything they'd heard about the Inquisition accepting mages into their ranks as equals had turned out to be true. And yet the people of Jader had reacted to the Cumberland mages with the usual fear and distrust, prompting Cornelia's decision to set out for Skyhold immediately. Halani worried their elderly senior enchanter Cornelia, the journey had been especially difficult for her.

Even the apprentices ceased chattering like magpies as they crossed the bridge and entered Skyhold through the gate. Inside, the warm spring-like air was a welcome change from the frigid snow-covered Frostbacks outside. This was a place where the fade sang, not thin and strained with death, but strong with protective magic. For the first time in her life, Halani felt like she'd come home.

As long as her bond with a spirit of the fade wasn't discovered, this could be her chance at living a normal life, as an agent of the Inquisition.

The courtyard was a boisterous hub of activity. A pretty dark-haired human wearing a yellow gown and holding a clipboard - Antivan by her accent - was issuing authoritative orders about distribution and storage of the caravan's cargo. Halani helped Cornelia off the wagon. The old mage's skin was cool to the touch, and she leaned heavily on Halani's arm, staff in her other hand. "Cornelia, are you all right?"

"I'm just tired, dear," said Cornelia. Then in her loud instructor's voice she called out to their party. "Cumberland Circle, to me."

Halani surreptitiously poured a healing spell into her old mentor's frame as the children, apprentices, tranquil, and enchanters gathered. Each of them shed their winter cloaks except Cornelia. They adjusted their few possessions and those who still had staffs strapped them to their backs. The two tranquil carried a chest between them.

Having dispatched the caravan wagons with impressive efficiency, the Antivan woman approached. "I am Ambassador Montilyet. Did I hear you say you're from the Cumberland Circle?"

Cornelia straightened, standing on her own using her staff like a walking stick, and bowed. "A pleasure to meet you, Ambassador. I am Cornelia, senior enchanter of the Cumberland Circle. Please accept our deepest gratitude for sending an Inquisition agent to evacuate my people."

"It was our duty to render assistance and ensure the Cumberland relics did not fall into Tevinter hands," said the ambassador with an officious smile. She cast a critical eye over each member of their party, making Halani self-conscious about the simple boy's clothing she wore and its travel-worn state. The ambassador's gaze lingered for a moment on the artifact chest. "One of my assistants will show you to recruit quarters. I ask that you prepare a list of the people in your party, their names and a summary of each person's skills and experience."

Korbin had warned them in advance the Inquisition would ask for this information, to utilize their talents as quickly as possible. Halani had helped Cornelia write the document, and added a rough sketch of each person. She took the neatly folded sheet of parchment from a pocket of her cloak and handed it to Cornelia who held it out to Ambassador Montilyet. "We are at the service of the Inquisition," said Cornelia.

The ambassador unfolded the parchment, added it to her clipboard and scanned the contents. She beckoned to a young man who hurried obediently to her side. "These are the Cumberland mages. Show them to their quarters, then inform the commander that more mages have arrived. Also, inform Cook there will be additional people at the evening meal."

The assistant groaned at the mention of the commander but turned and began leading the group across the courtyard to a long, steep set of stone stairs. The other members of their group trotted behind their guide, invigorated by the prospect of beds and a hot meal, but Cornelia leaned against Halani, breathing heavily by the time they reached the stairs.

The twins stopped halfway up and looked back.

"Go," said Cornelia, panting.

"Go on ahead with the others," called Halani, fondly. "On your best behavior. Cornelia and I will be along."

Matching mops of curly dark hair bobbed - in assent of both directives she hoped - and the two raced up the stairs.

Halani invoked her healing aura, infusing Cornelia's aged body with gentle restorative energy. She patiently supported her old mentor's slow progress as the others reached the top of the stairs and disappeared.

* * *

**Cullen **

The new recruits reformed into two neat rows, reminding him unpleasantly of the dance floor at the Winter Palace. Cullen rubbed the back of his neck and barked, "Again."

Lyrium. He'd come to the practice yard for a distraction, to work his aching muscles and burn off some frustration on a practice dummy, but then he'd stopped to watch the recruits and taken over the training lesson. Some looked like they'd never held a sword in their lives. He paused to watch two particularly inept new soldiers. The way those two swung their practice swords. It was just... So. Bloody. Irritating. "You there! Keep your shield up and your elbows in! You're defending against an attack, not offering him a hug!"

The seasoned soldier who had been conducting the training before Cullen arrived, a templar he'd recruited from Kirkwall, hovered at his side. "Pardon me, Knight-Captain."

"It's commander," growled Cullen. "Just commander. I'm not a templar anymore, uh..." What was that man's name? Martin, Marlow, Mar-something. He smelled of lyrium. Must have dosed up an hour or two before. Sweet lyrium... he _wanted_ it.

"Yes, Commander." The look he gave Cullen was uncertain and apologetic. "This bunch is pretty green, ser. We really should let them take a break."

Cullen rolled his shoulders. Lyrium. The stress was getting to him. That morning at the war table, Cassandra said she wanted to talk. "You're right, of course, Mar..."

"Marsden, ser." Then he called out to the soldiers, "Recruits, halt! Take a break."

Yes. Marsden, that was it. Cullen's memory was getting worse. The recruits muttered their exhausted relief and gathered around the well or flopped onto shaded grass. He hadn't even noticed how tired they were. He was slipping.

He'd made it this far, but... Would Cassandra recommend he resume taking lyrium? Would she say it was time for him to step down? "Marsden, see if any of these recruits have some skill with a bow." The army could use more archers.

Cullen's gaze shifted to one of Josephine's people leading a large group of newcomers, skirting around the training yard. His eyes narrowed. These were not soldiers. Some of them were carrying staffs. He strode toward them.

"C-c-commander Rutherford," stammered Josephine's assistant. "Ambassador Montilyet said to inform you that the Cumberland mages have arrived."

"I can see that." Maker's breath, there were at least twenty. Damn. He'd have to check how many templars were assigned to mind mages around Skyhold. Some of these mages looked too young to have passed their harrowing. He raised his voice. "Magic is prohibited in all public places throughout Skyhold, unless specifically sanctioned for training purposes or required for an assigned task. Do you understand?"

Several adult mages nodded their ascent, a couple apprentices rolled their eyes but didn't protest. The complete lack of argument was almost disappointing. Cullen opened his mouth to shout a few threats at them for good measure, but the Inquisitor had just emerged from the infirmary on the other side of the courtyard, accompanied by Solas... her lover according to rumor.

"Get on with it," muttered Cullen, but Josephine's assistant was already leading them away.

Cullen straightened to face Inquisitor Lavellan as she approached. Lyrium. He _wanted_ it. What if he failed the Inquisitor because he'd stopped taking it? What if he couldn't do his job and lead the Inquisition forces, because he selfishly chose now of all times to give it up?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halani meets Cullen

**Halani**

Halani and Cornelia finally made their way to the top of the stairs. 

The upper courtyard held a large training yard with a spattering of soldiers lounging around it, resting apparently. In the courtyard's center, three people stood talking in hushed tones - an imposing human man with thick reddish-blond hair, a humble-looking bald elven man, and a charismatic elven woman with a Dalish vallaslin on her forehead. The other Cumberland mages were nowhere in sight, but that was hardly surprising considering how long it took them to climb the stairs.

"I need to rest for a moment," gasped Cornelia.

Halani half-carried her toward a bench, and two soldiers moved so Cornelia could sit. Cornelia panted, holding her staff in front of her with both hands, head bowed, forehead pressed against her hands. Halani smoothed her white hair away from her face, and poured a restoration spell into her old mentor, adding to the continuous effect of her healing aura.

Cornelia sighed, her breath slowing. "Thank you, dear, it does give my arthritic joints some relief. But you can't heal old age."

She always said that. Halani replied the way she always did. "If it helps you at all, it's worth it. Do you think that could be the Inquisitor over there?"

One of the soldiers to vacated the bench for her sat next to it on a patch of grass. She said, "That's her. The Inquisitor herself, the Herald of Andraste right there. Look at her hand."

The pale green glow of the elven woman's left hand was just visible in the sunlight. So that was _her_ , the Herald of Andraste. All eyes in the courtyard were drawn to her, the woman who closed the hole in the sky and was amassing an army, uniting all of Thedas to fight the common threat - Corypheus. Seeing her made Halani proud to be an elf, and reminded her of the way she felt reading stories of Garahel, elven hero of the fourth Blight.

Cornelia addressed the helpful soldier. "Child, did you see a group of mages walk through here? Where did they go?"

The soldier pointed across the practice yard, to the northeast corner of the courtyard. "Archway next to the armory. New recruit quarters are through there."

The Inquisitor's conversation seemed to reach a conclusion. She and the elven man left the handsome human behind and strolled up another flight of stairs into what might be the great hall. 

"Help me to my feet," said Cornelia.

Halani complied and they walked together, slowly taking a shortcut across the training yard. Halani maintained her healing aura as she had climbing the stairs, bathing Cornelia in healing magic.

Halfway across the training yard, Halani's protective instinct flared, coinciding with a shout, and she cast a barrier around them. An arrow deflected from Cornelia's shimmering shoulder and stuck in the ground a short distance away. Halani caught Cornelia as she stumbled. _That was close_. Belatedly, Halani realized they had passed near an archery target. She turned to reassure the bowman and- 

A templar's smite slammed against them, dissolving Halani's barrier with debilitating force. Cornelia crumpled against her and Halani eased her to the ground. She grasped Cornelia's staff and recast the barrier.

But the attack did not continue. A loud, deep voice was shouting at someone named Marsden. Halani pressed her fingers to Cornelia's throat, her pulse was steady and no weaker than usual, her breathing even. Handsome-human stopped shouting and strode toward them, his expression angry. Halani dropped the barrier spell and stood between Cornelia and the advancing man. 

She planted both feet in the ground and pressed her hand against his breastplate with as much force as she could muster. He stopped. The man smelled of elderflowers and oakmoss, and sweat with the underlying brittleness of lyrium hunger. A templar? But surely the Inquisition was well supplied with lyrium. "Please ser, we pose no threat."

Golden eyes bored into hers for long moments. He blinked and swallowed, lines in his forehead smoothed and his jaw relaxed. A scar that marred his right cheek and full lips added a rakish quality to his handsome features. He looked down at her hand with something akin to surprise. She must seem ridiculous to him, so obviously not a match to his physical prowess, and yet with the gall to challenge him. Softly he said, "Magic is prohibited in all public areas of Skyhold, unless specifically sanctioned."

Magic... Her healing aura was still active, her restoration spell directed at him. She pulled her hand away from his chest and released her connection to the fade. "My apologies, ser."

"Is she all right?" he asked. "Smite isn't supposed to harm mages."

_Said no mage ever._ "She fainted, I think. She's old, and exhausted from the journey."

"You traveled some distance to reach Skyhold. You're from the Circle in Cumberland?" He knelt next to Cornelia and lifted her up in his arms. "Let's take her to the infirmary." He strode across the courtyard in the opposite direction to where the soldier had said the other mages went.

With Cornelia's staff clutched in her hand, Halani hurried after Handsome- No. The man was a templar. Strictly off limits. She absolutely could not think of him as handsome. He paused at a wooden door with a tiny sign overhead, and pushed it open. Inside, he gently placing Cornelia on a bed then crossed the room to where a woman, probably the healer, hovered at a patient's bedside. On the patient's other side stood a teen boy wearing a wide-brimmed hat that covered most of his face.

Halani leaned the staff against the wall and took a blanket from the shelf. When she turned back to Cornelia, the boy was standing on the other side of the bed. She tucked the blanket around her old mentor. Cornelia's eyelashes fluttered and the boy murmured, "Peace at last... wish we could have saved more... warm and safe here..."

Halani had the strangest feeling the boy was voicing Cornelia's thoughts. "Are you all right? How is your friend?"

He startled and met her gaze, then ducked his head again. The fade clung to him like a cloak. The look in his eyes had been familiar and strange, endearing and frightening, like nothing she'd seen before on this side of the veil.

"I know some healing spells, maybe I can help your friend." She gave him her best, reassuring smile. This boy was probably a mage, about the same age as the Cumberland apprentices. "My name is Halani. What are you called?"

"I'm Cole." He was taller than her, but the way he tilted his head hid his face behind the brim of his hat. "Solas tried, but nothing can be done. He is in pain. I'm here to help the hurt. To ease his passing, if that is what he wants."

A shiver crawled down her back and Halani fought the sudden urge to both embrace Cole in a comforting hug and shield Cornelia from danger. Firmly, she said, "Cornelia doesn't need that kind of help."

"No, she doesn't," said Cole brightly. Then he took a long step back.

Halani turned to face the healer and that annoyingly attractive templar.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and Halani settle Cornelia in the infirmary, with Cole's help.

**Cullen**

While the pretty mage settled the old woman on the bed across the room, Cullen looked down at the dying man and listened to the healer's grim diagnosis. Internal damage, infection, and unbalanced humors. "All I can do now is keep him comfortable," she concluded.

One more casualty of the Inquisition soldiers' skirmishes with red templars. Every death deserved to be mourned, every life mattered. "I'll need his full name so I can send a letter to his family."

She scribbled the name on a scrap of parchment and handed it to him, then headed toward her new patient. "What happened to her?"

The elven mage stiffened like she was ready to defend the old woman again, just as she'd faced Cullen in the training yard like a ferocious kitten. Instead she took a deep breath and tucked a loose strand of hair behind a pointed ear. "She fainted, serah. In the courtyard there was... that is, she had a bit of a shock." Her intense, dark eyes darted to Cullen and back to the healer. "This is senior enchanter Cornelia, of the Cumberland Circle of Magi. The journey, the stress, and the continuous physical exertion have been hard on her."

While the healer examined the old woman, Cullen watched the elf. Her Nevarran accent was like Cassandra's, but with a gentler tone. She smelled of sweat from long days on the road, and something else... something sweet that made him think of his childhood home in Honnleath. With her attention on the senior enchanter, her expression softened into concern and affection. He guessed her age at mid twenties, long dark hair escaping its plait, feminine curves beneath those travel-worn boy's clothes. Enchanter's robes would do her form justice, enhancing her... No. _Maker's breath_ , he knew better than to even think about... This woman was a _mage_. 

Finally, the healer said, "She has no broken bones and no other injuries. I suppose I could bleed her."

"No!" said Cullen in unison with the elf.

"She's a mage," added Cullen. "We can't risk any temptation to blood magic."

The elf glared at him. "Bleeding will only make her weaker. She just needs rest."

"Rest it is," said the healer with a shrug. There was a momentary awkward silence while the healer returned to her other patient.

"Thank you for your assistance, ser," she looked up at him with those big, dark eyes. "May I know your name?"

Cullen chuckled. It was so rare to encounter anyone at Skyhold who didn't already know who he was. "I am Cullen Rutherford. And you are?"

"Oh. Oh, you're the commander of the Inquisition forces. I... I didn't know." A deep blush spread across her cheeks. _Mage_ , he reminded himself firmly. Definitely not for him. "My name is Halani."

"She's Protection," said Cole cheerfully from the other side of the old mage's bed.

Halani gasped, her eyes wide.

Cullen shuddered and scowled at Cole. He was often skulking around the infirmary, though Cullen hadn't noticed him when he came in. Vivienne, Solas, and Varric had wildly different opinions about what Cole actually was, but the Inquisitor insisted she wanted him to stay. "I've asked you not to sneak up on me like that, Cole. What do you mean – protection?"

"He means me. My _name_." She stared at Cole. Frightened, but not panicked like some people when he appeared out of thin air. "My name is Halani, in the Dalish language it means help. Or, uh, protection."

"Yes," said Cole. He tipped his head toward Cornelia and mumbled, "His name. Familiar. Might know my boy..."

"She's waking up." Halani stroked the old woman's white hair. "Cornelia?"

The senior enchanter opened her eyes and tried to lift her head. Halani supported her neck and shoulders. "Young man," said Cornelia with a gravelly Navarran accent, "Did you say your name is Cullen Rutherford? Knight-captain of Kirkwall?"

"I _was_. But no longer." His shoulders tensed, expecting a recriminating comment or accusation.

"Did you know a mage named Rafael?" asked the old woman, "He was moved from the Chantry orphanage in Nevarra to the Kirkwall circle as a boy. A blue-eyed ginger. He'd be forty-three years old now."

Cullen sighed and rubbed his temples. There had been a number of mages at the gallows with red hair. He vaguely remembered one who had earned Meredith's ire, a mage named Rafael... or was it Rafferty, Rafiq, Ramsey? "I... think so. I'm afraid he was made tr-"

"Commander," interrupted Halani. "Please, ser. Cornelia is asking you about _her son_. She wants to know if Rafael survived the rebellion in Kirkwall."

Cullen blinked. Recalling and thinking about the events in Kirkwall... sometimes it was like an extension of his recurring nightmares, except he was awake. So many mistakes on top of tragedy on top of even more horrifying mistakes. So much carnage, so few survivors. "I'm sorry. I believe he died."

The old woman closed her eyes and a tear ran down her face to pool on the pillow.

"Thank you again for your assistance, Commander Rutherford," said Halani formally, her head bowed.

_Maker's breath_ , he couldn't think of anything appropriate to say. He'd done what he could, and he had a thousand things to do. Cullen bowed and left the infirmary.

* * *

Cullen nearly collided with Cassandra, waiting for him in the courtyard. "Cullen, I must speak with you."

With a wordless nod, Cullen followed the seeker to the spartan room above the armory that functioned as her office and quarters. She folded her arms and fixed him with that penetrating stare. He waited for her to ask the usual questions. How was he sleeping, when did he last eat, how was he managing the stress. But her judgmental silence went on and he grew impatient

"Well?" he demanded.

"Did you change your mind? Did you take it?" she asked without accusation.

"Take what - lyrium? No, of course not." What a strange question. "Why would you ask me that?"

"You seem... much improved since this morning. How do you feel?"

"I feel..." Cullen paused to give the question thorough consideration. "I feel good. No headache. I feel... hungry. And like I could finish those tedious Winter Palace reports... Huh." He still craved lyrium, but otherwise he felt almost like his old self.

Cassandra raised an eyebrow. "Oh? If you haven't taken lyrium, what has changed?"

Cullen recalled yelling at Marsden in the courtyard, the headache, the nausea. Then... Halani. "It was one of the Cumberland mages that just arrived. A healing spell." Briefly, he recounted the events of the past hour.

"I see." Cassandra gazed off into nothing as she sometimes did when connecting pieces of information. "I have some idea of how you were affected. Unfortunately, I believe your relief will be temporary. Take note of when your symptoms return."

"I will." She was holding something back, Cassandra was not usually evasive. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking your elven mage is a spirit healer."

Cullen's stomach churned. How could he have been so distracted by a pretty face not to see that himself? Spirit healer magic involved consorting with denizens of the fade. So dangerous that Meredith had executed any mage even suspected of practicing it, likening it to blood magic. Of course that was what Halani had done to him. 

"She is not _my_ mage." 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halani checks in with her 'family'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a slightly AU version of Skyhold. I've added a terrace along the fortress' north side, outside and below the battlements (roughly the same level as the lower courtyard by the gate). I also added a hot spring under Skyhold.

**Halani**

Halani had stayed in the infirmary with Cornelia, holding one of her old mentor's hands while Cole held the other, until Cornelia was sleeping peacefully. She had wanted to speak to Cole alone, but had been afraid the healer would overhear. How did the boy know about Protection? How had her hasty explanation dissuaded a templar from asking more questions? Before she left, Cole had returned to the other patient's bedside.

And why was an important man like Cullen Rutherford, commander of the Inquisition forces, suffering from lyrium hunger? Surely the Inquisition had the resources to acquire an adequate supply.

Following the healer's directions, Halani made her way toward the new recruit quarters. She found the archway just past the armory, and the stairs leading down to the center of a natural terrace at least as large as the lower courtyard. The sun setting on the Frostback mountains painted the clouds pink, and reflected off a number of recently-constructed buildings. Piles of lumber, foundation stones, and scaffolding seemed to occupy every open space outside the paths between. Humans, elves, and a few dwarfs went about their business, and she wondered how she would find the rest of the Cumberland mages.

Before she could stop someone and ask, the twins barreled toward her, enthusiastically embracing Halani together. She hugged Gerith and Talora back. Both wore clean clothes, and two mops of damp black curls left wet spots on the sides of her shirt. As usual, they talked non-stop, each completing the other's sentences.

"Rilya went ahead to the mess hall-"

"-with her new friends."

"We wanted to wait for you."

"Paolo and Rilya took us to the bath house."

"We washed in hot water-"

"-that came right out of the wall."

"Paolo asked a million questions-"

"-about how they built it."

"Something about repair and old dwarven design-"

"-and natural spring. I stopped listening."

Halani interrupted. "That sounds like Rilya and Paolo." Rilya was the oldest of the three Cumberland apprentices, skilled with fire magic, and made friends easily. If the circles had not been disbanded, Rilya would have been forced to undergo harrowing by now. Paolo was the youngest, just fifteen, and fascinated by anything designed and built by dwarfs. He had the potential to be a brilliant artificer, if only he had someone to teach him.

"And there're other mages-

"-from all over Thedas."

"From the Ferelden Circle," 

"And Ostwick and Orlais-"

"-and the Free Marches." 

"And we heard there's even one from Tevinter."

In unison they said, "Where's Cornelia?"

"She's all right, I'll explain when we're all together." Halani smiled down at them, brown faces full of excitement. Talora and Gerith were brought to the Cumberland Circle of Magi by templars, just before the chaos began. At nine years old, the elven pair were inseparable and some people thought they were hard to tell apart.

"Have you eaten?" asked Halani, letting them pull her along to the largest building, "Do we have a place to sleep?"

"We had apples and-"

"-bread when we got here and -"

"-we have bunks-"

"-in recruit barracks. We're going to-"

"-the mess hall-"

"-for dinner."

Delicious smells wafted out of the mess hall's open door and Halani's stomach growled. They followed a group of dwarfs inside. Three long rows of tables with bench seats reminded Halani of the circle dining hall as it had been when the Chantry was still in control. Except instead of solemn enchanters whispering to each other in halted conversation while stony-faced templars stood guard, this was a diverse collection of people of every sort, united in the camaraderie of a common cause.

Halani held tight to Gerith and Talora's hands as they wove through the crowd of people finding seats and helping to move generous platters of food from the kitchen to the tables. She recognized her Cumberland cohort gathered in one section. Most of them anyway... she caught sight of Rilya and some of the others sitting with a group of young enchanters, and Paolo was eating with a dwarf and a human wearing a smith's apron. She scanned the room and found a group of tranquil mages slightly apart, the two Cumberland tranquil among them.

Halani's heart swelled. They made it. They were really here in Skyhold. They'd survived and joined the Inquisition.

She and the twins sat with the Cumberland cohort. "Cornelia's in the infirmary," she announced without any preamble. "She's all right. I think she just needs solid rest, plus peace and quiet. She was sleeping when I left."

"I'll check in on her after the meal," said Jacques. Their best healer, Jacques was highly competent in mundane medicine as well as healing magic, but not a spirit healer like Halani. After nearly forty years in the Cumberland Circle, he wore the survival-serenity of a circle mage like plate armor. Underneath that calm, Halani knew he still grieved for the ones they'd lost.

Kiara, the middle in age of the Cumberland apprentices, said, "I'll go with you, Jacques." Kiara was a tall girl with an athletic frame, green eyes, and a face that was beautiful when she smiled, which was almost never. Kiara was also grieving. She'd shaved her head soon after the chaos began, and was only now starting to let it grow out.

"I want to go too," sang Talora and Gerith in unison.

"Didn't I just say Cornelia needed _peace and quiet_?" asked Halani. "I'll take you with me for a short visit in the morning."

They all filled their plates with freshly baked bread, cooked turnips, carrots, and a spicy Antivan dish of legumes and grain, and drank diluted beer. By the time Halani finished eating, the twins had finished their meals and were yawning languorously.

Nobody talked about their long ordeal before the Inquisition rescued them, or the journey to get to Skyhold. Her fellow mages were deep in conversation, speculating about what their assignments might be, with most of them wanting to join the army. Halani excused herself and the twins. She needed to get Talora and Gerith in their beds and find her own.

The recruit barracks were in the next newly-constructed building. Before they went in, both children pointed toward the east end of the terrace. 

"The bath house is over there."

"You need a bath, Halani."

"Because you _smell_."

Halani smirked. "Hardly surprising after five days on the road." She had washed at the Inquisition camps along the way. Had Rutherford noticed? No, no, no. He's a _templar_ she reminded herself, whether or not he noticed did _not_ matter to her.

The rows of bunks stacked in threes were not unlike apprentice quarters at the Circle. They were packed together, but it was clean and dry, and they were lucky to have this accommodation. She recognized a few personal effects on nearby bunks. "Are we all together?"

"Yup, except for the tranquil."

"They have separate quarters."

"That one's ours," said Talora, pointing to a set of three in the corner.

"Talora on top," said Gerith.

"Gerith in the middle," said Talora

"And you have the bottom bunk, Halani."

"You weren't here when-"

"-the man assigned them. He asked-"

"-who was responsible for us and-"

The twins in unison, "-we said you."

Halani tousled each of their curly heads and grinned. "I wouldn't have it any other way. Now, you two should go to bed."

Their lack of protest was evidence enough of how tired they were. In a neat pile on her bunk, Halani found a clean linen tunic and trousers, and a towel. She could barely remember the last time she'd had a warm bath.

"Will you tell us a story?" asked Talora as she climbed into the top bunk.

Gerith said, "I want to hear one about Garahel."

Halani stifled her own yawn. "If you're still awake when I come back from the bath house, I'll tell you a story." 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halani visits Chekhov's ~~gun~~ bath house. Washing followed by a little voyeurism.

**Halani**

After putting the twins to bed Halani strolled past the barracks mess hall and kitchen to the east end of the terrace and found what could more accurately be described as a bath cave rather than a bath house. The mouth of the cave under the fortress proper was about as large as the entrance to Skyhold's great hall. A stream of water poured out along a channel on one side to tumble off the terrace's edge.

Inside, the air was pleasantly warm and humid, with the soothing background noise of rushing water. Glow lights set in wall sconces reflected off pools of steaming water to make rippling patterns on the ceiling, no higher than an ordinary room.

Halani blinked, her elven vision adjusting to the low ambient light. The closest stone pool was hexagonal in shape, unoccupied though large enough for perhaps six adults, and surrounded by a wide walkway. Folding privacy screens and benches were scattered around the walkways and obscured some of the pools plus made it hard to discern the layout pattern, but she guessed there were at least six pools.

A middle-aged human woman wearing an apron greeted her with a pointed glance at the clothes and towel Halani held. "New arrival?"

"Yes, serah." 

"Just now, during the evening meal, is the least-busy time," she said in a thick Orlesian accent. "My name is Minerva. I am in charge of this bath house."

"A pleasure to meet you, mistress Minerva. I'm Halani. Can you tell me where I may bathe?" 

"First, the rules," Minerva said firmly. "You must wash before entering the bathing pools. No clothing, no laundry, no armor, no weapons, and..." she raised her voice, "No sexual activity in the pools."

A sudden splash echoed through the cave, and a sultry male voice muttered, " _Vishante Kaffas_."

"You wanted to watch," said another, deeper voice from the same pool.

" _Merde!_ " growled Minerva, and shouted, "I mean it Iron Bull! If I must have the pools drained one more time to clean up after your mess, I'll have you banned from the baths for good. Do you understand? Not here. You can take your _friend_ back to your quarters."

A chuckle resonated in the cave. "Yes, ma'am." 

Halani tried and failed to control her impulse to look, but saw only two heads, one with horns. A qunari? 

The sultry voice murmured, "Discretion really isn't your thing, is it?"

Minerva muttered something about bath houses in Orlais and lead Halani around the pools to the back of the cave to where streams of water poured down from channels cut into the slightly overhanging rock ledge above. No wonder Paolo had been fascinated by the engineering of this place. Halani said, "I understand all this was dwarven designed and built."

"Some of it was here already, in ruins when the Herald of Andraste discovered Skyhold. The Inquisition brought in experts to repair and rebuild." There were clean folded cloths for washing on a dry shelf, lumps of simple soap in small dishes and free-standing privacy screens nearby. Minerva continued, "You want privacy, use the screens. You can wash clothing and gear here in the shower, or take it to the laundry. Just remember, clean bodies _only_ in the pools."

"I understand. Thank you, serah." As Minerva walked away, Halani regarded the pools a short distance away. Her view of the closest one was partly blocked by a screen, but there didn't seem to be many people around, only the pair Minerva had yelled at.

As a mage living in a circle, privacy had nothing to do with walls or closed doors. Privacy was defined by discretion, by setting and respecting boundaries, and by mutual agreement to avert your eyes to give others their personal space or even ignore what other consenting adults did together to experience the smallest moment of joy.

Halani picked up one of the screens and positioned it between herself and the direction of that quanari and his friend, and draped the clean clothes and towel from her bunk over the screen. Then she unbraided her hair, stripped down, and stepped under the narrow waterfall. The continuous flow of warm water over her head was a luxurious sensation unlike anything she'd experienced before. The water saturated her hair, making it a thick curtain that reached the small of her back. She stepped out of the water, lathered soap into her hair, washed days of travel from her body, then closed her eyes and returned to the delicious flow of warm water to rinse off.

After longer than necessary, she stepped out of the water and washed the clothes she'd been wearing. She noticed the floor under the waterfalls angled away from the pools, draining the dirty runoff away from the bathing pools. Halani stifled a yawn. Now that she was clean, a soak in one of the pools was tempting, but she'd probably fall asleep. And the pools would be there tomorrow.

Halani put on the dry clothes and carefully wrung out her travel clothes. Then she headed back to the barracks where she found the children fast asleep. A few of her cohort had returned and reported the rest were still up, celebrating.

Her people were protected and safe, at least for now. Halani crawled into her bunk and slipped into peaceful sleep.

meanwhile....

* * *

**Cullen**

Cullen leaned his head back against the warm stone side of the pool and half-dozed, muscles relaxed in the hot bath. After his talk with Cassandra he'd eaten a whole platter of sandwiches while finally finishing his Winter Palace report. There was always more work to do, and he wanted to go over the Inquisitor's recent reports tonight before bed. He might even get a good night's sleep.

Just as he started to climb out of the pool, he heard the bath matron Minerva speaking to a woman with a Nevarran accent. He shifted to look around his privacy screen, and sure enough it was that spirit healer, Halani.

Cullen was momentarily distracted by the voice of the person with Iron Bull. He sounded like... surely that couldn't be Dorian? Why was he always the last to hear any good rumors?

Before he could collect his wits and exit the pool, Minerva and Halani were already at the showers. Though he wasn't usually shy about his own brief moments of public nudity in the baths, he decided to wait, reluctant to encounter her that way. He'd leave after she put her privacy screen in place.

Except, she angled her privacy screen between her and the pool Iron Bull had claimed. If Cullen looked around his own screen, his view was unobstructed. She started to undress.

He sank into the water to block his line of sight, and listened to the water splash as he had done in similar circumstances at Kinloch hold and the Gallows. But he wasn't guarding mages and he wasn't standing at attention wearing heavy plate armor. He was naked, lounging in a hot bath and... well one part of him definitely _was_ standing at attention. If he climbed out of the pool now, she'd see... more of him than he was willing to expose. He'd have to wait.

The splashing pattern changed, and Cullen peeked. She'd stepped out of the water to apply soap, facing away from him. She washed with quick efficiency, only lingering on the wave of dark hair that reached to her enticingly round backside. He shouldn't watch, it was inappropriate. But... how else would he know when she finished? She stepped back under the water spout, turned toward him with eyes closed, and... _holy Andraste_... gave a low moan of pleasure as the water flowed over her head, her breasts, her hips...

Cullen took his uncomfortably alert soldier in hand. So tempting to give himself a little... stress relief. Then he thought of the matron's admonishment to the Iron Bull.

Before Halani could see him, Cullen hastily climbed out of the pool and pulled on his britches without bothering to dry off first, and hurried out with his towel wrapped around his hips and his shirt in his hand.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halani and Protection intercede in a dream, and Halani asks Cole not to divulge her secret.

**Halani**

She sat cross-legged, back against a tree trunk, and looked up through moss-covered branches and the green filter of oak leaves to blue sky beyond. Beneath her a woody carpet made of clusters of tiny white flowers embraced her with the pleasant scent of sweet alyssum, stretched to misty surroundings.

This was the fade. Even a spirit attuned enough with mortals to create a realistic setting missed the subtleties. Alyssum - tenacious and beautiful with a wonderful smell - was her favorite flower. But it needed sun and grew in the open as ground cover next to paths and stone walls, not in the dense shade.

She got to her feet, and rubbed her hand against the oak tree's mossy bark, releasing an earthy forest-after-rain scent. She thought of Rutherford and brushed petals and tree-litter from her leather breeches and tunic. The mist around her altered like an artist's canvas evolving from a rough sketch, to vague shapes, to clear image in moments, until she stood in a meadow with the knee-high ruins of stone walls, and grazing halla. A middle-aged elvhen man sat on the ruin of a wall, back to her.

"Protection." The spirit had taken her father's form.

"Da'len." He patted the stone next to him and smiled up at her. "You have arrived at Tarasyl'an Te'las. A place of relatively safety. Your heart and mind have relaxed." 

The spirit's tone held trepidation. Halani sat next to Protection. They were not truly separate beings anymore, not since their joining when she was a child. Protection knew everything she knew, but retained the spirit's distinct viewpoint of the corporeal world and often made observations that ranged from frustrated incomprehension to surprisingly insightful. "What worries you?"

"The mark the Chosen bears. It draws the attention of all fade inhabitants, friend and foe, intrigued and indifferent. The breach in the veil is closed now and yet both sides are still in flux."

"Corypheus is still trying to destroy the world. The Inquisition's purpose is to stop him. By joining, we've dedicated ourselves to that cause," she said.

Protection got up and paced a few steps away and turned back to her. "What then, Da'len? Will your world return to the way it was? I think... the Beyond will not."

"Change is the only lasting truth," she said, repeating one of Protection's lessons. "I've no doubt the Chantry will try to reassert control. And then... Gerith and Talora, Kiara and Paolo, Rilya... will be imprisoned because of the fear and hatred sown by the Chantry for nine ages."

"Perhaps the mark-bearer will change that too."

"Perhaps." She stood and walked toward Protection. "But even now, mage children across southern Thedas are coming into their magic, and there are no templars to take them and no circles to send them to. I worry for what will become of those young people now, at the cruelly pious hands of their own families and communities."

The spirit took both of her hands in his, a fatherly gesture she knew was meant for comfort. "Da'len-" He stopped, closed his eyes and tipped his head as though listening.

Their fade surroundings rippled. She reached out with her awareness, for the people under her protection. "It's Kiara."

The fade shifted. They were in the herb garden of the Cumberland Circle, as it had appeared right after the battle.

Kiara stood beneath a blackened trellis, the tall girl's shoulders hunched, hands clutching together her torn apprentice robes. She backed away from a templar in plate armor brandishing a sword and shield. A demon.

Halani took a step forward, but Protection held her back. "Kiara must learn to protect herself." 

"I can do whatever I want to you," bragged the knight. "Even kill you. No one will stop me. No one will punish me."

" _I_ will stop you." Kiara threw a flashfire spell at him. 

The templar blocked the fire with his shield. "You can't stop a templar. Remember what you father called you? Remember what your mother said when templars took you from the cellar?"

"Shut it!" Kiara threw flashfire again.

The demon blocked, laughing. "Yes. Yeeeessss... think of how your loving parents greeted you when the Circle collapsed and you tried to go home. They didn't want you, did they? They never wanted a mage for a daughter."

Kiara balled her fists at her sides, and took a deep breath. A staff appeared in her hands. The remains of her robes became leather armor. "I will _not_ fall prey to you, demon!" She cast Immolate. 

The templar exploded in flame, failing to block this time. The despair demon morphed into its true form.

Kiara cast again, and Wildfire rained down on the demon. It dropped to the ground, stunned. Kiara staggered, her mana exhausted.

Time to intercede. Halani focused and made a circular gesture. A line of stones erupted from the earth, surrounding the demon. In seconds the stones multiplied and grew into a high stone wall.

With elbows bent and palms out, Protection made a pushing motion. The wall sank into the ground, taking the demon with it - banished to another part of the fade.

Kiara turned toward them, recognition lighting up her face briefly before the Cumberland Circle garden dissolved around them as Kiara awoke. 

* * *

  
Her bunk shook.

A small finger brushed along the bridge of her nose.

Halani covered her face with one arm. "Go back to sleep."

"Wake up, Halani," cooed Talora.

Gerith tugged on her arm. "It's morning."

Halani sighed and peeked under her arm at the twins. The room was still dark. "Shall I turn you into a frog or a mouse?" she whispered.

"Frog!" said Gerith. He jumped up and down in place, making croaking sounds.

Talora burrowed under Halani's blanket. "Mouse!"

Halani tickled along Talora's back and side, eliciting a burst of giggles. Gerith's next hop landed him at the bed's foot, then he piled on top of them in a fit of laughter.

"Maker's breath! Quiet, _please_!" It was their healer Jacques, in the next bunk-stack over. He didn't sound well. 

Halani sat up. The twins covered their mouths in over-dramatized compliance.

"Jacques, are you all right?" asked Halani.

"I may have... overindulged at that pub next to the infirmary... I, uh, stopped by there after checking on Cornelia," he mumbled. 

"Is she-"

"Fine when I saw her last night," said Jacques.

The twins each grabbed one of Halani's arms and pleaded in unison, "Can we go see her? Please?"

"Uh." Halani _had_ promised them the night before. "What do you think, Jacques?"

"Yes. Please go... anywhere but here," groaned Jacques. Several voices from nearby bunks grunted their enthusiastic agreement. A moment later Jacques added, "Cornelia needs to rest. Don't stay too long."

Her travel clothes had dried overnight, so Halani put them on and left the linen tunic and breeches folded on her bunk. As they were leaving, Kiara silently joined them. 

Outside, the first glimmer of sun shone on the terrace's east end, but the barracks were still in shadow. Halani, Kiara, and the twins followed the delicious smell of baking bread into the mess hall, but it was still too early - no breakfast in sight. Only a basket of apples was out. "Cornelia first, then breakfast. Apple?" Halani picked one up, and bit into the crisp, juicy fruit.

Kiara copied Halani, then picked up a second apple. "For Cornelia. I fed her dinner last night, and stayed until Paolo came." 

Halani decided that later she would arrange complete privacy for Kiara so she could bathe. Unlike the rest of them, Kiara still smelled of the road.

Talora and Gerith each picked up an apple, and then at some unspoken signal, each took two extra and stuffed them into their pockets. Halani decided not to correct the children. The Cumberland Circle gardens had boasted a variety of fruit trees, and fresh apples had been plentiful there. Until a mob set fire to the gardens.

They climbed the long stairs to the upper courtyard and crossed the empty training yard to the infirmary. Halani paused before opening the door. "Remember-"

Talora rolled her eyes. "Best behavior."

"We know," chimed in Gerith.

Kiara nodded solemnly, a look of anticipation in her eyes.

Inside they found Cornelia sitting up in bed, and Paolo in a chair next to her. 

"Come in, dears," said Cornelia.

Kiara paced across the room, searching, her expression clouded. The other patient and Cole were no longer there. Soft snoring from a cot at the back of the room suggested the healer was sleeping.

The twins climbed gently onto the foot of the bed, and Kiara positioned herself next to Cornelia, across from Paolo.

"I'm feeling much better," said Cornelia. "Paolo, you should get some sleep."

"Have you been here all night?" asked Halani, guiltily. It should have been her.

"Half the night, after Kiara," said Paolo sleepily. 

Talora and Gerith chattered about the barracks and Paolo perked up and joined in when they told Cornelia about the bath house. Kiara concentrated on Cornelia's apple, peeling and slicing it with a long, dangerous-looking knife, and handing the slices to Cornelia. That knife. Where did she get that knife? Too many people thought a mage with a knife meant blood magic.

The healer in the back room stirred, Cornelia ate the last apple slice, and Paolo yawned hugely. "Time to go," said Halani.

The twins got up without complaint and headed to the door, Paolo following. 

Cornelia said, "We'll resume lessons soon."

"I'll ask about a school for refugees," said Halani.

Kiara's gaze briefly met then slid past Halani's. "I'm staying with Cornelia."

As they emerged from the infirmary, Halani saw Cole sitting on the wall overlooking the lower courtyard. "Paolo, please take Gerith and Talora to the mess hall for breakfast. There's someone I need to speak with. I'll be right down."

Paolo nodded. The twins had there heads together, whispering. She hoped it was too soon for mischief. Knowing the twins, probably not.

Halani approached Cole where he sat on the wall, relaxed, his legs swinging over the edge. He was armed with two daggers, sheathed at his sides. Afraid she might startle him and cause him to fall, she called out to him softly. "Hello Cole. May I speak to you?"

His head jerked up, face half-hidden under that hat.

In his odd, dreamy voice he murmured, "Worry, caring. Being who you are will put others in danger."

Weird, and... strangely close to what she was feeling. Too close. Halani said, "How are you? I was in the infirmary and I didn't see your friend."

"He died."

Halani leaned on the wall next to him. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"I did not loose him. He died and his body is at the funeral pyre."

Halani dipped her head to get a look at his expression under that hat, but he didn't seem to be joking. There was that uncanny sense about him, that feeling of the fade. Like talking with Protection at times. "It's an expression, Cole. I want to acknowledge that someone you cared about has died, and offer comfort."

"Oh." He was quiet for a long moment, then said, "Cornelia is better, you didn't lose her."

"Yes, she is. I'm very relieved," said Halani. She glanced around to make sure no one else was in earshot. "Cole, yesterday when we met you called me Protection. Why?"

"That's what you are." He shifted his position on the wall so that he was facing her. 

Halani took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. Even with the Chantry in chaos, if her bond with Protection was discovered, she'd be executed as an abomination. The Inquisition's commander was the ex-knight-captain of the infamous Kirkwall gallows after all. Then all the other Cumberland survivors would fall under suspicion.

His tone again dreamy and uncanny, Cole murmured, "Protect them by staying. Protect them by leaving. Worry you will choose wrong."

"What are you, Cole?"

"I help the hurts," said Cole. "But _you_ can't cause harm, even if it helps."

Halani blinked. This boy was unusually insightful. If she was in the fade, she might think she was talking to a spirit, and yet this was the physical world and Cole seemed to be a human boy. "I am a mage who cannot cast destructive spells. Only healing and barrier." Offensive spells went against Protection's nature. "I'm glad to know you, Cole, no matter what you are. I need a favor. Can you please call me Halani, and try not to mention Protection to anyone else?"

"I will, Halani."

"Thank you." She liked this compassionate young man. "Cole, your daggers... do you know how to use them?"

"Yes."

Perhaps Cole could teach Kiara. "I have a friend, an apprentice a little younger than you, named Kiara."

His hat tilted back. "Twisting tangled ropes of grief, guilt, and despair. I pulled, and made them tighter. I made the hurting worse."

That sounded like Kiara. She was in the infirmary the night before, and Halani recalled how she'd looked around for someone there. "Cole, did you give Kiara that knife?"

"She needed to feel safe."

Halani sighed. "What Kiara needs most is a _friend_ , Cole. Someone she can confide in. Sometimes people need to come to terms with their past experiences themselves, but a friend can ease the burden... help loosen the knots."

"You sound like Varric."

She wondered momentarily who Varric was, but kept the conversation on the girl. "Can you teach Kiara how to handle that knife properly, as a melee weapon? She's in the infirmary with Cornelia, and I think she'd like to see you."

He slid off the wall to stand next to her, with a slight smile. "Yes."

"Thank you, Cole. I'll see you later." 

"Probably."

Halani set off for the barracks mess hall to check on the twins.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen denies that he needs help.  
> Halani and the children say goodbye to the Cumberland enchanters joining the Inquisition army, and Halani meets Mother Giselle.

**Cullen**

The words of the Inquisitor's Crestwood report, strewn across his desk, blurred together. _Lyrium_. He wanted lyrium. He _needed_ lyrium.

Cullen rested his elbows on his desk and rubbed his temples. The headache that had plagued him since he awoke that morning was getting worse. His midday meal still sat on the tray untouched, the thought of eating it made him queasy.

After that spirit healer used her spell on him, he'd still craved lyrium, but the withdrawal symptoms had eased. The spell had worn off by the next morning. That brief reprieve made the suffering he'd come to accept worse when it resumed. It seemed his need for lyrium was even harder to endure.

He would _not_ take lyrium. He'd lasted this long. What future could there be for him outside the Order if he didn't keep trying? 

At the firm knock on his office door, Cullen sat up straight. "Come."

Cassandra walked in followed by the Inquisitor, who closed the door behind them.

"How are you feeling, Cullen," said the Inquisitor. "Are you in pain?"

He hated that she knew about his addiction. He hated that he could be putting the Inquisition at risk even more. "I can endure it."

The Inquisitor glanced at his untouched meal and shook her head. "Risking your life, your sanity... when there may be another way."

_Cassandra told her_. Anger flared in his gut. "Spirit healers consort with denizens of the fade. I will not subject myself to such magic. But... the Inquisition's army must always take priority. If you or Cassandra think my ability to lead is compromised, then relieve me from duty."

"And people say _I'm_ stubborn," said Cassandra. "This is ridiculous."

Cullen slammed his fists on his desk and stood, right on the verge of throwing them both out of his office.

The Inquisitor grasped his shoulder. Softly, she said, "My clan's Keeper, Istimaethoriel, once told me of magic that could alleviate the effects of lyrium withdrawal. Not a cure, just relief from the symptoms. I respect what you're doing, Cullen. But perhaps this isn't the time to refuse help... even if it is magic you don't like."

She just didn't understand what he'd been through at the Ferelden circle, and he wasn't in the mood to explain now. He marched to the door and opened it, gesturing for them to leave. "Thank you, Inquisitor. I will consider what you've said."

Cassandra just shook her head as she walked out, but the Inquisitor hesitated like she was trying to think of something else to say. Then she followed the seeker out.

Cullen barely controlled the urge to slam the door behind them. He returned to his desk. 

_Lyrium_. He wanted lyrium.

* * *

**Halani**

Once again Halani and the Cumberland circle refugees assembled just inside the gates of Skyhold in the lower courtyard, three days after their arrival. She held Gerith and Talora's hands, and stood with Paolo and Cornelia - who was back on her feet and using her staff like a walking stick - to say their farewells. Kiara loitered with Cole in the late-afternoon shade of the western battlements, their heads close in conversation.

The Cumberland enchanters, those who were prepared to fight with the army, had been outfitted by the Inquisition in battle-mage armor, with staffs more powerful than they'd ever been allowed to use in the circle, and good-quality travel gear. Today they were joining the army in the valley below Skyhold.

Jacques was last to arrive. He'd trimmed his nearly-white beard, and his salt-and-pepper hair was cropped above his ears. He embraced Cornelia, and tousled each of the twin's hair, greeting them in much the same way as the others had.

"I thought you'd be helping out here in Skyhold," said Halani.

"Skyhold has a healer, and this is what I want to do. It's good to have a purpose again - to use the skills the Maker gave me to heal the injured. I'm told there are medics in the camp, eager to learn. I'll have students to pass my knowledge on to." Laugh lines deepened around Jacques' eyes, wrinkles that made him look younger. "Besides, you can visit me."

"That passenger lift is ingenious," declared Paolo. "I'd like to get a closer look at the pulleys and counterweights. Can I ride down with you?"

"No," said Halani and Cornelia together. By road, it was a full day's journey to the valley. By the mechanized lift, it was less than an hour. The platform was positioned just outside the gate, and at that moment the lift was in the process of rising up to their level from the valley.

"We'll give Jacques and the others a few days to settle in first. That's a military camp and we don't want to get in the way," said Halani. Officially, Cornelia was assigned to the research team there at Skyhold along with the Cumberland tranquil. Halani herself was the only adult in their cohort without an assigned task. She could render accurate drawings, but what use was that to the Inquisition? Her healing skills could be useful to the army, but without destructive magic she'd be a liability on the battlefield.

Jacques went over to join the other enchanters. Rilya, Cornelia's oldest apprentice was with them. She wore her red hair in a short ponytail, exposing her pointed ears. With the circles disbanded, Rilya had adopted the enchanter designation without the ritual torture of a Chantry-mandated harrowing.

"I wish Rilya was not joining the army today. She's so young," said Halani to Cornelia.

"Young and headstrong," agreed Cornelia. "We could not keep her. And she has something that some of us never had. A choice. You know as well as I that she's had at good deal of experience in battle already."

Halani nodded. It was hard to let any of them go, after everything they'd been through together. For a time their cohort had even included two templars, but they didn't survive. 

Now that the Cumberland enchanters were joining the army, Halani's pressing concern was keeping Cornelia, the children, and herself together if possible. After two days of asking everyone who would speak to her, Halani had found no evidence of a school for refugee children under the Inquisition's flag, mage or not.

Movement on the western battlements caught her eye. Commander Rutherford was descending a stone staircase to the lower courtyard. She hadn't seen the commander since the day she arrived. In the sunlight, his dark blond hair took on a reddish tint, and the fur pelt gracing his shoulders enhanced his lion-like appearance. The man was an impressive figure, as the leader of the Inquisition's forces Rutherford embodied strength and decisive power.

His gaze swept the small crowd, then landed on her. To Halani's surprise he stared at her, his expression angry.

Without conscious thought, Halani took a step forward and pushed Talora and Gerith - still holding her hands - behind her.

"Hey! I want to see the lift." The twins resisted, angling to stay in front of her. She lost track of Rutherford, and by the time she located him again, he had pushed his way through to the front of the crowd next to the lift platform, and was directing the waiting mages to step back.

Halani watched with everyone as the passenger lift rose into view and docked at the platform. The arriving passengers included several hooded people wearing Inquisition emblems, a reverend mother in Chantry robes, and four warriors in plate armor. Halani's suspicion that they were templars was confirmed when the rest of the passengers disembarked and those warriors remained in place. She caught a few words of the orders Rutherford issued - they were to escort the group of mages to their positions in the camp.

How much independence did the Inquisition's mages _actually_ have?

The Cumberland enchanters bustled onto the passenger lift, and Halani could see how the templars and mages ignored one another out of long habit. She watched and waved with Cornelia and the children until the passenger lift descended out of sight.

Kiara and Cole were nowhere to be seen. Rutherford paused to listen respectfully to the reverend mother, then bowed and hurried back up the stairs without another look in Halani's direction. 

The reverend mother gave her a benevolent smile. _She_ might be able to answer the question Halani had been asking. "Gerith and Talora," she said, "I'll be just a moment. Wait here with Cornelia and Paolo."

Halani approached the woman. "Excuse me Mother, may I speak with you?"

The woman was at least a head taller than her, with dark skin. Otherwise she was covered from head to toe in chantry robes. "Of course," she said in a thick Orlesian accent that was as kind as it was deep and rich. "I am Mother Giselle. How may I help you?"

She had heard of Reverend Mother Giselle. "Thank you, Mother. My name is Halani. I've been trying to find out if there is a school for young refugees. Do you know?"

"I... have not heard of such," said Mother Giselle thoughtfully. "Are those adorable elf children yours?"

Halani turned to see Cornelia sitting on a bench with Gerith and Talora on either side. Paolo was questioning a woman who was busy inspecting a lift cable. How to answer the reverend mother's question... "We came from the Cumberland circle of magi. With all due respect, Mother, I consider them part of my family, even if the Chantry does not." The Chantry denied mages the right to raise their own children, it certainly would never recognize any claim she might try to make for adoption.

"Then in the eyes of the Maker, you _are_ family," said Mother Giselle with serene confidence. "As to your question... The Inquisition was formed at first with the goal of closing the breach in the sky. Now, the Inquisition's focus on defeating Corypheus and his allies consumes our efforts. Perhaps, Halani, the Maker has called upon _you_ to fill this gap."

This reverend mother was surprisingly open minded. Halani took a deep breath. She had considered organizing lessons herself, at least for the children in Skyhold. A school. Perhaps she could... _if_ the Inquisition would allow someone like her to do it. And _if_ the Inquisition didn't give her a conflicting assignment. "I would need support... and resources... a place to meet, materials, instructors... and I'd insist on including all races, mages and non-mages. But until now I couldn't even find someone to tell me if there was already a school. Whom would I speak to? Where would I begin?"

A slow smile spread across Mother Giselle's features. "Young mages and non-mages, elves, dwarfs, and human children, learning together? That is an intriguing proposition. Hmm. Come to see me in the chapel tomorrow, and we will discuss the matter further."

"Thank you, Mother Giselle." Halani bowed deeply as the reverend mother walked away. 

Paolo joined her as she returned to Cornelia and the twins. "The lift operator said I can ride down and back any day there's a goods transfer, but only if I'm accompanied by a responsible adult." He rolled his eyes. "I told her I'm responsible, but she said no."

"We'll go in a couple days," Halani promised again. Paolo _was_ responsible, he needed the chance to prove himself. He needed someone who would foster his fascination with mechanical devices, and someone with true expertise in force magic to teach him to use his talent for manipulating kinetic energy.

Cornelia pushed herself to her feet using her staff for leverage. "Come along, children, we shall have you practice some simple control exercises in the training yard."

Paolo went ahead with the twins as they climbed the stairs, and Cornelia and Halani were not far behind. Arthritis slowed Cornelia, but she had regained her stamina and her tenacity never failed. The training yard was empty of soldiers in the late afternoon.

At the other end of the courtyard Kiara and Cole faced each other, both holding a pair of practice daggers. Halani knew nothing about melee training, but Cole's method of instruction seemed unconventional. She could swear that Cole was... talking to the dull blades. But a smile lit up Kiara's face, and whether or not his teaching style was effective, Cole's student certainly enjoyed the lesson.

Cornelia pointed to a smooth, flat stone, a hand's width across. "Lift this stone, and move it toward that practice dummy, Paolo. Don't hit the dummy with it."

Halani fetched a practice sword, and stuck it blade-down in the ground, then backed away to stand next to Cornelia. Paolo's stone moved slowly across the ground and stopped at the practice dummy's base.

"Well done, Paolo. Now move it around the dummy," said Cornelia. "Talora and Gerith, get into position."

The twins had done this exercise often, but they had yet to master it. The two stood next to the grounded metal sword, faced away from each other, and started pacing, counting their steps. By the time they got to twelve, tiny sparks of electricity cracked along their fingertips. So far the twin's electricity magic manifested only when the two were separated.

Before Cornelia could continue with the lessons, they were approached by a woman in plate armor, the Inquisition emblem on her chest plate. "Are you Halani?"

"I am."

"My name is Lysette. Seeker Pentaghast wishes to speak with you. Will you come with me?"

Halani could feel the lyrium in this woman's blood. She knew of Cassandra Pentaghast only by reputation - the Nevarran seeker who saved a past Divine from a dragon, recently the right hand of Divine Justinia, and now an adviser to the Inquisitor. What could this important woman want with her? "Of course."

She gave the children her best reassuring smile, and murmured, "I'll be fine," to Cornelia. Then Halani followed as templar Lysette lead her to the armory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has left kudos and/or commented. I really appreciate your encouragement!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and Cassandra question Halani about her magic.

**Cullen**

Cassandra leaned back in her chair and looked up at him from her desk, surprise evident on her face. "What brings you here, Cullen?"

 _Lyrium_. He wanted lyrium.

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck, still slightly out of breath after running up the stairs to his office. He'd hesitated there for only a brief moment, before rushing to the armory and Cassandra's office. "I've decided I should reconsider. The, uh, treatment option you and the Inquisitor suggested."

"Oh?" Cassandra raised an eyebrow. "What has happened to change your mind?"

He paced across the room. It was that moment a short time ago when he saw the spirit healer by the gate with the other Cumberland enchanters. It was the look on her face when she saw him. The way she moved to protect those two children _from him_ , as though _he_ was dangerous. "It's relentless. Perhaps I was too quick to refuse."

"Have you spoken to the mage since the incident, about the magic she used?"

Cullen folded his arms to hide his shaking hands and looked out Cassandra's window. _Lyrium_. "No. You know how spirit healers work as well as I do. The Inquisitor vouched for the, uh, method."

"Given her Dalish upbringing, the Inquisitor has an unconventional view of magic. But I trust her judgment." Cassandra joined him at the window. "I interviewed each of the Cumberland enchanters before clearing them to join the army, and I heard some interesting things about this spirit healer, Halani. If you are looking for my advice, I recommend we question her together so you can decide for yourself."

Below them in the upper courtyard, the spirit healer in question emerged from the stairway to the lower courtyard along with the two children, elderly enchanter and apprentice. Halani was wearing a simple tunic and breeches - he pushed away the mental picture of her in the bath house - and carried no staff. Nothing obvious to alert the unwary that she was a mage. While they watched, Halani stuck a practice sword in the ground and the apprentice began moving a stone around the training yard. The teen boy must be a force mage. There had been many force mages at the Gallows. "That's her, the elf."

They were interrupted by footsteps on the wooden stairs. "Oh, Seeker, this book is incredible! Thank you for letting me borrow-"

Cullen turned to see one of the templars assigned to Skyhold. She stopped speaking when she saw him.

"You're welcome." Cassandra dashed across the room to take the book. Was she... blushing? "Lysette, there is an elven mage named Halani in the training yard. Will you ask her to come to my office?"

"Yes, Seeker," said the templar. She hurried back down the stairs.

Before he could see the book's title, Cassandra shuffled it under a pile of reports on her desk and extracted a parchment she held out to him. "It's a list of the Cumberland Circle refugees."

Cullen scanned it. Each name had a description of skills next to it, and a simple sketch of the person's face. He found Halani, and read her summary. "No destructive magic?"

"Each of the other enchanters confirmed it."

Cullen left the parchment on Cassandra's desk and returned to the window where he watched Lysette speaking to Halani. The two left the training yard together. The elf children were standing some distance apart, and each summoned a ball of electricity held in the air between their hands. Simultaneously, each tossed their ball across the yard at the other - and caught them. The small hairs on the back of his neck rose. That was dangerous and powerful magic for mages so young. Abruptly, both electricity balls hit the practice sword Halani had stuck in the ground, and the elderly mage seemed to be scolding them.

Two sets of footsteps sounded on the wooden stairs this time, and Cullen leaned his back against the windowsill to face the stair landing.

Halani hesitated at the top of the stairs, her large dark eyes darting between Cassandra and Cullen.

"Come in," said Cassandra. "I am Seeker Pentaghast, and I believe you've met Commander Rutherford. You are Halani of the Cumberland Circle?"

"Y-yes." She glanced behind her at Lysette, probably blocking her escape, then took two steps into the room. "Am I in trouble?"

"Not at all. We only want to ask you some questions." Cassandra pulled the chair from her desk, placed it in the middle of the room, and gestured for her to sit. In an aside to the templar, she said, "Lysette, you are dismissed."

Lysette retreated down the stairs and Halani sat, back straight and hands folded in her lap. Cullen's mind strayed to the last time he'd taken part in interrogating a mage. Such outward calm... initially. Meridith insisted that mages had to broken, forced to reveal their true selves and the inevitably dangerous extent of their weakness to temptation. She was wrong - insane - he knew that now. And this was different, he told himself. He had changed, and Cassandra was nothing like Meridith.

Halani nodded her acquiescence. "What would you like to know?"

"You used magic on the commander in the training yard," stated Cassandra.

"Please allow me to apologize again. I know it was wrong to use a spell on the commander without his permission." Halani was the very picture of a contrite circle mage, not the headstrong woman who stood up to him in the training yard. Not the woman in the lower courtyard protecting children from him.

"Your apology is appreciated," said Cassandra. Cullen noticed the slight difference between the two women's Nevarran accents. Halani's was softer, while Cassandra's had the cadence of noble upbringing. "But what I would like to know is _why_ you cast the spell."

"Because..." She stole a glance at Cullen, eyebrows knit together. "It's complicated."

It was the kind of thing Varric might say. Cassandra gave a disgusted snort. "I have time."

Halani took a deep breath. "I was escorting Cornelia - she's quite old - and I was using a healing spell to infuse her with restorative energy. We were crossing the training yard..." She paused, and something about her expression... Cullen thought she was deciding whether to tell about the arrow and the smite, to accuse him or someone else of wrong-doing. "I was distracted and I forgot to end the spell. And, I... must have reacted to Commander Rutherford's lyrium hunger." She paused, and leaned toward Cassandra. "I don't understand, the Inquisition has access to lyrium supplies. Lysette had a recent dose. Why is the commander going without?"

 _Maker's balls!_ Was he the subject of idle gossip in Skyhold now? "Who told you that?" growled Cullen. 

"Nobody _told_ me." She caught her lower lip with her teeth. The knuckles of her hands, clasped together, were white. "He... Commander Rutherford... _feels_ like other templars I've encountered who were experiencing lyrium withdrawal."

Cassandra folded her arms. "Explain."

Halani looked away from both of them, opened her mouth as though to speak, and swallowed. "The refugees the Inquisition rescued from the golden dome consisted of those of us who stayed and a few who arrived later. After the, uh... initial hostilities ended at the Cumberland circle, the templars left and took their lyrium supplies with them. Several weeks later, two older templars returned. They were sick with lyrium hunger, in pain and incoherent."

Cullen shuddered. _Lyrium_. It was all too easy to imagine the suffering of other templars denied lyrium. The Chantry had held a near monopoly on the lyrium trade, and untold numbers of his brethren had been forced to suffer horrific consequences for their loyalty.

"I tried to help them," continued Halani. "I found that my restoration spell eased their withdrawal symptoms."

Cassandra glanced at Cullen, and asked Halani, "Why would you help a templar?"

Halani's outward calm slipped, and she scowled at the seeker. "How could I _not_? They were suffering. Do your think that because I'm a-" She stopped abruptly, jaw clenched, and adjusted her composure like a cloak. "Leon and Elias lived with us for a time as part of our cohort. They were templars, but also our friends and allies."

Cullen thought of the reasons he'd wanted to join the templars so long ago. It was a holy calling, to protect ordinary people from the dangers of magic, and to protect mages from themselves. Fraternization between mages and templars was wrong, forbidden. And yet... one of the things the Inquisition had proved was that mages and templars _could_ work together toward a common goal. 

"What happened to those templars?," asked Cassandra. "Did they recover from their addiction?"

Halani shook her head. "No. They still took it whenever they could. There was a black market in the city. But... a rumor spread that templars had returned, templars who were relatively healthy. More came to the golden dome, expecting to find a secret stash of lyrium." Her voice cracked and she looked down at her hands. "They killed Leon and Elias. For lyrium they didn't have."

Templar turning against templar, for lyrium. Cullen had seen the need for lyrium drive the addicted to do worse. What surprised him was that Halani seemed to have cared about them.

Cassandra relaxed her stance and sat on the table's edge. She picked up the list of Cumberland refugees and held it up to Halani. "Do you recognize this?"

"I wrote it, with Cornelia. We spoke to each member of our group. Her arthritis makes it difficult for her to hold a quill."

"You're a spirit healer," asked Cassandra.

"I am."

"According to what you wrote you're able to cast barrier and healing spells. No destructive magic at all." Cassandra cocked her head. "Why is that?"

Halani's eyes widened, and she shifted on the chair. Strange that she would so easily admit to being a spirit healer but fluster when asked about a limitation that would make her acceptable to most people. Those who didn't understand the danger. After a few long moments she said, "As an apprentice, I searched the library for an answer to that question. One of my mentors theorized that destructive spells go against the nature of the benevolent spirits that lend assistance to spirit healers."

Cullen scoffed. As if there was such a thing as a truly benevolent spirit. "When you call upon a spirit, how do you know you aren't consorting with a demon pretending to be a spirit?"

She glared back at Cullen with those large dark eyes. "Many consider mages weak-minded and naturally corrupt, and therefore easily deceived by any demon. It is my understanding that a demon intelligent enough to create such a complex deception would not be interested in possessing someone with my lack of power. Also, healing spells conflict with the nature of demons." She hesitated, then addressed him directly for the first time. "Commander Rutherford, are you trying to stop taking lyrium?"

"I _have_ stopped," he growled. Cullen took a step toward her, hands clenched at his sides. Nausea and anger burned in his gut. Lyrium. He wanted lyrium.

She flinched, and rose out of the chair as though to run, but checked herself and stood behind the chair, gripping the back. 

"I... I'm sorry," Cullen muttered, and turned away to lean against the window-frame. The training yard was empty now. Lyrium. Oh, _Maker_ , he wanted lyrium. He closed his eyes, and a vision of Halani in the bath house like some kind of desire demon came to mind again. He didn't want to accept help from a spirit healer. And yet, the alternative was worse.

"Seeker Pentaghast, I don't have any magic that can cure lyrium addiction. But I can ease withdrawal symptoms."

Cassandra said, "Cullen, do you have any other questions for Halani?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "No."

Cassandra joined him at the window, and in a low voice said, "You _can_ do this without help. I knew that when we met in Kirkwall."

He gripped the windowsill, leaning his weight against it. He _had_ to break his lyrium leash without putting the Inquisition at risk. Matching her quiet tone, he said, "I trust your judgment. If you think this magic is safe..."

"As a Seeker, I can evaluate the danger. But, this is your decision."

Cullen exhaled. "All right."

They turned back to Halani together. She shifted from one foot to the other. "What have you decided, serahs?"

"I will try this... treatment," said Cullen. Only then did it occur to him that she'd probably heard what they'd said with her elven ears.

"First, I'll need to invoke a healing aura," said Halani. 

At Cassandra's nod, Cullen felt the prickle along his spine as the mage opened herself to the fade. Cullen barely controlled his instinct to dispel her connection.

Halani held out both hands. "It will be most effective with skin-to-skin contact. May I... touch you?"

He nodded but didn't move. She approached him. Cassandra's eyes narrowed, watching them both. A memory flashed, of the Ferelden circle tower, and a desire demon in the form of another mage - a mage who had once been the object of his infatuation. Cullen squeezed his eyes shut, fists clenched at his sides, anticipating Halani's touch and fighting to control the sudden urge to shove her away.

The muscles in his shoulders and back relaxed, just slightly. The healing aura. He opened his eyes to find her standing right in front of him, chin tipped up to meet his gaze with those intense dark eyes. Her arms were stretched toward him, hands on either side of his head but not touching. Almost like an embrace. "Ready?" she asked.

He swallowed. "Yes."

His templar-training senses felt her draw upon the energy of the fade, and then her fingertips brushed his jaw and pressed gently against his neck like a caress. The burning sensation in his veins quenched like cold water poured over hot coals. The muscle tension throughout his body relaxed. He stomach settled, he could eat enough food for an army, the constant nausea was gone. 

She was so close. Her eyes dark, her lips full and inviting. Halani smelled of something sweet, of something that recalled home. Without conscious thought, his hands strayed to rest on her narrow waist, and he leaned down to-

"Cullen." Cassandra's voice stopped him. "How do you feel?"

He dropped his hands and stepped back, abruptly aware that the fit of his trousers was much... more tight. Luckily, his tunic hid that embarrassment. Halani's cheeks were flushed, the tips of her pointed ears pink. She released her connection to the fade and seemed to be studying her feet. 

"I feel... much better. The pain is gone," said Cullen. And yet, the desire for lyrium was still there. "Thank you, Halani."

"Good," said Cassandra. She addressed the mage. "How often will he need this treatment?"

"Uh... If the commander wishes... perhaps twice a day, morning and evening." She was still looking at the floor, avoiding eye contact.

Cassandra said, "Then I suggest you start by reporting to Cullen's office morning and evening beginning tomorrow. Is that acceptable to you, Cullen?"

"Yes." Maybe he could stop worrying about letting the Inquisition down. Plus, a spirit healer in Skyhold would need close monitoring, and this way he wouldn't have to reassign a templar to keep an eye on her.

Cassandra turned to the mage. "And you?"

"Of course," said Halani. "But... if you'll pardon me for asking, does this mean I'm to stay at Skyhold? I don't have an Inquisition assignment yet, and I'd like to keep my... _my family_ together. Senior enchanter Cornelia, the twins Gerith and Talora, and the apprentices Paolo and Kiara. Please?"

 _Family?_ The very idea of a mage indulging in the emotional ties of a family made Cullen uneasy and conflicted with years of templar training.

"Treating the commander's symptoms _is_ your assignment," said Cassandra. From the seeker's smug expression, Cullen suspected she and the Inquisitor had planned this. "You and the remaining Cumberland mages will be assigned permanent quarters in Skyhold."

"I'll update the duty roster," said Cullen wryly. He could just imagine what the troops would think, if they heard about his weakness. "You are not to tell anyone about this. Not a word. Do you understand?"

"Yes. I promise." She smiled up at him, dark eyes sparkling. "I'll see you in the morning, Commander."

Her scent. Cullen recalled the carpet of flowers that had lined the garden path around his childhood home in Honnleath, clusters of tiny white flowers that bloomed in the summer sun and smelled like carefree childhood and sunshine.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halani gives Cullen his first regularly scheduled "treatment," meets the Inquisitor, and speaks with Mother Giselle.

**Halani**

Dawn shadows stretched the length of the upper courtyard as the sun peeked over the eastern horizon. Halani climbed the stairs to the western battlements, following a passing soldier's directions to Rutherford's office.

She'd left the barracks just as the mess hall was starting to serve breakfast and worried she'd arrive too early, but the commander's office was already busy with people.

She waited just inside the door. He ignored her and talked to two humans and a dwarf about a project to assemble a group of Inquisition engineers and laborers to make repairs in Redcliffe village. Damage had been caused - _more likely blamed, she thought_ \- on mages and uncontrolled magic. Interestingly, Rutherford didn't just give commands, he asked for and listened to their recommendations and altered his directions accordingly.

While they talked, she observed her surroundings. Rutherford kept his office neat and orderly, except for the Redcliffe papers strewn across his desk. The book shelves were full, and she longed to go closer and peruse the titles. A side table held a chess board, the pieces set for a new game. The last time she played was before the circles were disbanded. A ladder led up to... a loft?

The meeting ended and Halani stepped aside as the commander ushered his people out, then shut the door behind them. The other two doors were also closed. He caught her looking at them, and she wondered if he had the same thought. _A mage and a templar, alone behind closed doors_. A situation she'd carefully avoided during her years in the circle. She broke the awkward silence. "How are you feeling, Commander?"

He rubbed the back of his neck and stepped away from her to stand facing his desk. "Your treatment was effective in relieving my symptoms."

"Well then, uh..." His retreat suggested he was still reluctant. "Shall I repeat the spell?"

Rutherford leaned over his desk, hands pressed against the surface.

She couldn't see his face, but she could guess why he hesitated. In her experience, templars disapproved of spirit healers at best, feared and hated them at worst. In spite of the danger to her if Rutherford figured out her bond with Protection, it was that very bond that drove her to help anyone in need if she could. "Commander, I've never heard of a templar who intentionally stopped taking lyrium. I deeply respect what you're trying to do. I am honored to help, if you'll let me."

He exhaled and turned toward her, his expression resigned. "Yes, I'm ready."

"Will you sit?" She gestured to the chair by his desk. The last time in the seeker's office, standing so close face to face, she'd felt a completely inappropriate and nearly overwhelming urge to kiss him. If he sat in the chair she could stand behind him while casting the spell.

He shook his head and straightened. "No need. I'll stand."

She briefly considered explaining to the commander exactly _why_ she wanted him to sit, then Halani invoked healing aura and moved to stand next to him at the desk. He turned toward her, one hand braced on the desk, the other clenched at his side. She reached up and positioned her thumbs on both sides of his stubble-rough jaw, and finger tips along each carotid artery. This close, he smelled of oakmoss and elderberries and underlying lyrium hunger.

Halani concentrated, catching her lower lip in her teeth, and poured restorative energy into his lyrium-hungry veins, and cooling his burning nervous system. He shut his eyes and groaned, but not with pain. Unlike the templars she'd helped in Cumberland, his body gave little resistance and no prickly backlash.

His hand pressed against her lower back and he opened his golden eyes, darker than before. For a brief moment she was lost - the reason she was there forgotten. Her thumbs brushed along his jawline and she licked her lips and leaned in...

A knock sounded firmly against one of the doors. Halani released her connection to the fade and the commander hastily stepped away from her. The eastern door that lead to the main hall banged open.

"Cullen?" It was _her_ , the Dalish Herald of Andraste.

"Inquisitor," said the commander. He moved behind his desk. "I was just, uh.."

"No need to explain, I can come back later," said the Inquisitor, a grin plastered across her face.

"That won't be necessary, she was just leaving," said the commander, his cheeks flushed.

Halani took the hint. She gave the Inquisitor a quick bow and hurried to the northern door.

"Wait," said the Inquisitor. "Cullen, is this your spirit healer from the Cumberland Circle?"

"She's not my-" He gave an exasperated sigh. "Yes."

"What's your name?" The Inquisitor was a little taller than Halani, about the same age but with short blond hair, and she wore simple yet finely made leathers. Her Vallaslin honored Mythal.

"Halani." She tried to remember the proper way to address this woman. "Your worship."

"The Dalish word for help, _halani_?" The Inquisitor pronounced her name with a lilt, the way Protection spoke in the fade. "How did you come to have that name?"

"I, uh..." She'd been warned the Inquisitor tended to ask direct, personal questions. Halani tried to deflect. "It was sort of a misunderstanding."

"Your parents didn't know what it meant?"

Halani shifted from one foot to the other and back. Many city elves would take that question as an insult coming from a Dalish elf. She glanced at the commander. Her name was closely tied to her bond with Protection, and she remembered little from before the spirit was part of her. Even so, although she might not tell the whole truth, she was careful never to lie. "When I was a small child, a dwarf named Jaca Bersca traded a horse to a human merchant for me, outside Cumberland. He told her they found me along the Imperial Highway, and he thought Halani was my name because I kept saying that word."

Undeterred, the Inquisitor asked, "How did you end up in the circle?"

"Jaca took me to the alienage orphanage." Jaca had checked in on her from time to time ever since, and even sent letters to her in the circle, but Halani hadn't heard from her in more than a year. "When I was fifteen, my magic was discovered and templars took me to the circle."

The commander interrupted. "Fifteen is old for a mage to escape detection. What did you do to give yourself away?"

Halani lifted her chin and faced him. The commander might have given up lyrium, but he still thought like a templar. "A sickness spread through the Cumberland alienage. When the quarantine was lifted, many more elves survived than expected, especially in the orphanage. That made the Chantry suspicious."

To her surprise, the Inquisitor laughed. "Sounds about right. I'm glad we met, Halani. But if you'll excuse me, I've a few things to discuss with the commander of my army."

"I'll return this evening, commander." Halani bowed to both of them, and ducked out the door.

* * *

After leaving the commander's office, Halani found her family in the barracks mess hall, empty plates in front of them. Paolo and Cornelia sat across from each other, deep in conversation. A twin sat next to each of them, arranging metal spoons on the table. Kiara and Cole were at the next table, one plate between them.

Halani placed her plate of bread and sausage, and mug of hot tea on the table between Paolo and Talora.

Cornelia was saying, "I'm sorry, Paolo, I need to speak to Grand Enchanter Fiona without distractions."

"I won't interrupt," said Paolo. "I just want to visit the library."

Talora and Gerith looked up from their spoon project and chimed in. "I want to see the library."

Halani resisted the urge to repeat the sentiment. She'd met Fiona on a few occasions, when the College of Enchanters had gathered at the Cumberland circle. Cornelia had known Fiona for years, and Halani was looking forward to calling on Fiona herself. Although the Grand Enchanter title had been rendered meaningless, Fiona still held influence.

"I'm going to the chapel this morning, to speak with Mother Giselle," said Halani. She folded the thick slice of bread around the sausage and bit in. Ferelden sausage was not as heavily spiced as the Antivan or Cumberland variety, but it was still hearty and delicious.

Cornelia sipped her tea and regarded Halani over the rim of her cup with curious speculation. "Back from your... errand?"

She took another bite and chewed as an excuse to nod her answer. Halani already regretted her promise to Rutherford to keep his symptom-treatment a secret. She'd told Cornelia only that her assignment for the Inquisition meant she was to appear in the commander's office morning and evening.

Halani drank her tea and looked over her shoulder at Kiara, smiling at Cole. It was good to see her looking relaxed. Perhaps she would _not_ ask Kiara to keep an eye on the twins... who were uncharacteristically quiet.

She gave her full attention to their spoon project. A subtle spark jumped from one spoon to the next, and traveled from Talora across the table to Gerith and back. With her empty mug, Halani pushed the spoons out of alignment. Gently, she said, "Here is not the place. Gerith and Talora, you can come with me to the chantry."

The twins cheered.

"Paolo can go with me," said Cornelia.

* * *

Halani found the tower staircase from the terrace level to the upper courtyard garden. The twins ran up the spiral staircase ahead of her and they all emerged out of breath from the door in the northeast corner of the garden next to a gazebo.

The courtyard reminded Halani of the garden at the Cumberland circle, before the hostilities. Medicinal and culinary plants, and a wide variety of flowers grew wherever there was not a stone walkway. Semi-obscured benches made it an ideal place for quiet conversation or solo contemplation. The magic that embraced Skyhold felt stronger here. Even on a peak in the middle of the Frostback mountains, this garden was bathed in perpetual warm weather.

"I see a fountain."

"Maybe there are fish."

"What's behind that trellis?"

"There's a boy over there."

A figure in chantry robes stood outside a large door in the east wall. Halani said, "There's Mother Giselle. Come on."

"I want to stay here-"

"-in the garden."

" _Please?_ "

"We won't go anywhere else-"

"-or bother anyone-"

"-or get into trouble."

Halani laughed, they knew the drill. "All right. Stay together. No magic. I'll be right over there. While you're in the garden try to recall your botany lessons and identify five plants."

"We will!" they called, running to the fountain.

Mother Giselle smiled warmly as she approached. "Halani, I'm glad you're here."

Halani bowed her head in polite respect. "Mother Giselle. You said we could discuss a school?"

"Come in, child." The reverend mother led her into the chantry chapel. A statue of Andraste dominated the space, lit by numerous votive candles. They were alone.

Cornelia had told Halani what she knew of Mother Giselle, of how she'd rebelled against the Chantry in Val Royeaux during the fifth blight to help the poor, the refugees, and the elves in Jader. Halani looked up at the statue of the Chantry's founder. "Tell me, Mother, what do you think of mages and magic?"

"Andraste said that magic must serve man, not rule over him," said Giselle serenely. "But Andraste believed in peaceful coexistence, she never called for mages to be put to death."

"That doesn't sound like the Chantry I know," said Halani, turning to face the reverend mother.

"The Chantry is an imperfect vessel pulled in every direction by those who would steer it's course. Divine Justinia attempted to allow mages more freedom, and the templars rebelled because she was not restrictive enough."

"An apt metaphor," said Halani, thoughtfully. "Just now there is no Divine at the helm, the oarsmen have broken free of their chains, and the crew has mutinied and abandoned ship. The vessel with its passengers is drifting."

Giselle grimaced. "Perhaps the Inquisition will find a better way."

"I truly hope so," said Halani. She had hardly slept the night before, thinking of her plans. "Mother Giselle, I want to start a school for the young refugees at Skyhold. I want to include all of them, mage, human, elf. I haven't seen any qunari or dwarven youngsters, but they'd be welcome too. If more ordinary folk could meet and get to know a few mages, maybe they would see that we are just people. Imagine the understanding an inclusive school could foster. The Inquisition already sets an example of diverse people working together toward a common cause. What if that example could be spread beyond the Inquisition's direct influence and into the next generation?"

"That is a worthy goal," said Giselle. "How can I help?"

"I was hoping you would advise me. Where shall I start?" asked Halani. "Books? Materials? Instructors? I can teach numbers, reading, and writing."

"Start by thinking about who you will be helping, and their needs. Do you know how many children there are among the refugees?"

"Uh... no, I don't," said Halani, embarrassed she had not thought of that. "Not all of them are in the fortress. Some refugees are camped with the army. I should start by visiting them in the valley."

Mother Giselle gave her that serene smile. "The Inquisition supplies refugees with food and shelter, but these are only temporary measures to meet the people's basic needs. When you have determined how you want to help them, we will discuss a plan. Then I can take your petition to the Inquisitor and request resources."

"Thank you, Mother," said Halani, and bowed. Now at least, she knew where to start.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen meets Talora and Gerith, and there's a lot of chess-playing.

**Cullen**

The Inquisitor set her empty mug on the breakfast tray. A servant had brought it to Cullen's office shortly after she arrived, and the tray was now stacked with empty dishes. "I'll be setting out for the Emerald Graves first thing in the morning. My primary team will include Solas, Cassandra, and Cole."

"Don't take any unnecessary risks," said Cullen. She was the Inquisitor, he could not help cautioning her to be careful.

"Understood," she said, and smiled. "You look well, Cullen."

He suspected she'd resisted bringing up his condition during their entire conversation - until now. Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. "I had a good night's sleep, and I've regained my appetite. But..." _Lyrium_... the craving was still there. Severing his tether to the Chantry without suffering felt wrong somehow. Especially when it involved a rather attractive spirit healer. "I'm still uneasy about this, uh, treatment."

Lavellan patted his arm. "Give it a little more time, and then decide. The Inquisition needs you at your best, Cullen. _I_ need you."

Cullen returned her gaze. "I'm here for you, Inquisitor." Back in Haven, he'd had a small crush on the Herald of Andraste, and after establishing the Inquisition at Skyhold he'd felt a twinge of jealousy when rumors circulated that she was seriously involved with that apostate, Solas. Strange, he hadn't thought about that for a few days.

"I'll talk to you later," said the Inquisitor, and exited through the east door.

Cullen arranged the reports on his desk, placing his most urgent tasks on top. With a pang of guilt, the letter he had yet to answer from his sister Mia went to the bottom, once again. But before he started in on his duties, there was something he needed to do first. It had been far too long since he'd visited the chapel to pray.

* * *

The garden was as peaceful and beautiful as he remembered. Cullen made his way to the chapel, but stopped short when he saw Mother Giselle ushering Halani inside. _Huh. That was a surprise_. He decided to wait until she was done and not intrude.

The last time he'd been in the garden was to play a game of chess with Dorian. Cullen strolled to the table and found the game was still there, with three children examining the pieces. Two were the elf twins he'd seen with Halani, and one was the son of that witch... the one Empress Celene sent as a liaison. All three looked up at him when he approached.

The twins spoke almost as though they were one person, continuing the other's sentences.

"Is this a game?"

"Do you know how to play?"

"Will you teach it to us?"

He pulled a chair up to the table and took a seat so that he was not towering over them. "I'm Cullen. What are your names?"

"I'm Talora," said the elf child on his right.

The twin on his left said, "I'm Gerith."

"My name is Kieran," said the boy. "Mother said templars are scary, but you seem nice."

"A pleasure to meet all of you." Cullen suppressed his urge to ask the elf twins what Halani might have said about him. "If you really want to know how to play, I suppose I can teach you the basics, but to truly grasp this game takes time. Let me think." Cullen considered where to begin on an introduction to one of his favorite pastimes. "This is a game of strategy for two players. Each player begins with the same assortment of pieces, and each type of piece can move in a particular way and take another piece off the board. The goal is to maneuver your opponent's king into an inescapable threat of capture."

Kieran said, "This game is like a war."

Talora, the twin on his right, said, "How do we begin?"

Cullen set up the black pieces on one side, identifying them as he went. "This is the king, all the other pieces protect him. The queen stands next to him at the start, she is the most powerful piece. Then there are two reverend mothers, two knights, and two towers, and lastly eight soldiers - the least powerful pieces."

"What about the rest?" asked Gerith, the twin on his left.

"You three set up the white pieces, in a mirror image of the black," said Cullen. Watching them scramble to move the pieces around reminded him of himself as a child, playing with Branson and Mia. Kieran held the queen and put that piece in its place last.

"Is that right?" asked Gerith.

"Well done," said Cullen. The children's enthusiasm was infectious. "Next I'll show you how each piece moves."

* * *

**Halani**

Halani left Mother Giselle in the chapel and searched the garden for Talora and Gerith. 

It was no surprise to discover they'd found another child to play with, but she was not expecting to find Commander Rutherford sitting with them around a chess board. He was attentive to their questions and engaged in teaching them how to play. So... paternal. It was a side to this man she'd had no idea existed.

As she walked toward them, Halani could hear Rutherford saying, "When I was your age, I played this with my sister. She would get this stuck-up grin whenever she won - which was _all_ the time."

The twins looked at each other. "What happened?"

"My brother and I practiced together for weeks," said Rutherford. "The look on her face the day I finally won..."

Gerith and Talora laughed appreciatively, sibling rivalry was easy for them to relate to. They _liked_ him. Somehow he'd slipped right into the role of uncle or big brother.

Halani joined them at the table next to Rutherford and smiled down at them. "Here you are. Commander Rutherford, are you recruiting military strategists?"

He smirked, accentuating that rakish scar across his upper lip. He didn't seem surprised to see her. "It's never too soon to start."

"Cullen is teaching us-"

"-how to play this game."

"Do you know how to play, Halani?"

"He can teach you too."

The twins were addressing the commander by his _first_ name? "I _have_ played this game before," said Halani. Jaca, the dwarf that rescued her as a child, taught her during her visits to the alienage. She'd also played at the Cumberland circle - before the chaos. "It's good for developing concentration and logical thinking. I can help you practice."

"Then can we play against-"

"-you, Cullen?"

"Well, Uh..." Rutherford got to his feet. He had that in-over-his-head look Talora and Gerith often inspired.

Halani said, "We'll see. The commander is a very busy man, you know. Responsible for the Inquisition's whole army."

"If you work at it and learn, I'll _make_ time," said Rutherford. The smile he gave the children warmed Halani in unexpected ways. "But now I should return to my duties. It has been a pleasure." His bow included all four of them.

She tore her attention away from Rutherford's retreating back to address the boy. "My name is Halani. Who are you?"

"His name is Kieran."

"He's supposed to be studying."

"We told him he should take a break."

"To play with us."

She smiled. "A pleasure to meet you, Kieran."

"You're an elf like them," said Kieran. There was something odd but not unpleasant about this boy. 

"The pointed ears usually give me away," said Halani conspiratorially. Before she could ask about his studies and teacher, a tall human woman with dark hair, yellow eyes, and revealing magic-enhanced clothing walked up behind him. A mage, but not from a circle. "Kieran, what distracts you?"

"Talora and Gerith asked me to play with them, Mother," said Kieran.

Unabashed, the twins said, "I'm Talora-"

"-I'm Gerith."

The human woman's attention remained on Kieran, whom she obviously adored. In a firm, gentle voice she said, "It is time to return to your studies."

Kieran said, "Yes, Mother," and walked away. So obedient. What a strange child.

"I am Morrigan," said the woman after the boy left. She appraised each of them severely, especially Halani. "What interest do you have in _my son_?"

The twins moved closer to Halani. Morrigan had introduced herself as though her name carried weight, as though Halani should know who she was. She didn't. "Gerith and Talora were only looking for a friend to play with, they meant no harm. If you don't mind me asking, what is Kieran studying? Are you teaching him? I was just speaking to Mother Giselle about starting a school for refugee children."

Morrigan laughed unpleasantly. "To answer your question, _yes_ , I do mind. Kieran's studies are no one's business but mine, and a school run by the Chantry tis of _no_ interest to me." She left, following her son.

Halani sighed, unsure what she'd said that this Morrigan found annoying. She gestured to the game board. "Do you want to try playing?"

Their mops of curly black hair bobbed in unison. "Yes!"

"There are two of you, so once you get the hang of it you can play against each other. To begin with, the two of you can team up and play against me." She took the still-warm chair Rutherford had vacated. 

"How do we start?" asked Talora.

"You make the first move. Together you can decide, though a typical opening move is the middle soldier," said Halani, pointing.

The two children conferred, then Gerith moved the suggested piece.

Halani moved her center soldier. "Also, this game can be frustrating when the players are unevenly matched, so I'm going to teach you the way my teacher taught me. At any point in the game you can decide to switch sides with me."

"But then won't we always win?" asked Talora.

Gerith said, "Isn't that cheating?"

Halani smiled, "Our goal is not to see who is better at playing the game. Your goal is to learn, and my goal is to teach you. It's your turn."

* * *

Talora and Gerith managed to maintain their interest in the game until the midday meal. Halani spent the afternoon moving her family from the barracks to their newly-assigned cottage on the terrace, just large enough for the six of them. She also learned that she and Cornelia had each been allotted a stipend, that they could draw upon to acquire a new set of clothing for each of them along with other essentials.

After the evening meal, Halani arrived at the northern door to Rutherford's office for his treatment wearing a dark blue tunic and matching trousers that actually fit. She knocked, but there was no answer. She hesitated, then knocked again. Then she pushed the door open.

The commander wasn't there.

She perused his book shelves. A worn copy of the Chant of Light was no surprise. But there were others books - mostly history, the art of war, and even a book by Varric Tethras. Could that be the same Varric whom Cole had mentioned? She was tempted to take that one off the shelve and look through it, but that felt intrusive. She walked around the ladder, guessing it might lead to the commander's personal quarters. She was tempted to peek, but that would be very intrusive, and he could arrive at any moment. Then she regarded the chess board on the side table, set for the start of a game.

Halani picked up a soldier piece on the board, and made an opening move. Then before she got caught meddling with anything else in his office, she exited the north door leaving it ajar, to wait outside on the battlements.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halani and Cullen talk about family, and Halani meets Varric.

**Cullen**

Cullen's afternoon had been particularly productive, he'd completed all of the tasks piled on his desk, and even replied to Mia's letter. But then dinner with the Inquisitor and her inner circle went longer than usual, as it often did on the eve of her setting off on a mission. Varric had been telling a long story while Cullen's headache got worse, but he resisted making an excuse to leave early, or to have the Inquisitor explain for him. The gathering finally ended, and Cullen found himself hurrying across the walkway bridge from the rotunda to his office. He opened the door, and...

Halani... was not there.

 _Lyrium_. The old ache was getting worse. He could walk down to the terrace level and ask around for the location of her quarters, but that would invite more questions. These treatments were Cassandra's idea, he was only following her recommendation, he definitely wasn't disappointed because he wanted to see the spirit healer. He had just decided to summon a messenger to send for Halani when he noticed the north door was ajar, and opened it.

She was there, waiting for him after all, leaning against the outer wall of the battlements. The sun had just dipped below the horizon, lighting the western sky with a pink glow. Halani wore a dark tunic and trousers that fit her well and accentuated her feminine curves. Her thick, dark plait had fallen over her shoulder as she looked down at the valley below. 

"Thank you for waiting," he said. "I'm sorry I'm late."

Halani turned toward him and smiled. "It was... I'm glad I was here. The sunset was beautiful."

She was beautiful. He barely controlled the urge to say that out loud. He stood by her at the wall, an appropriate arm's length away.

"I want to thank you for entertaining Gerith and Talora. You managed to charm both of them."

Cullen laughed, in spite of his headache. "Yes, well... I'm told I have that effect on children and mabari."

"Among others," she said softly. Surely Halani did not mean to imply _she_ thought he was charming... did she? Her face tipped down toward the valley so he couldn't see her expression. "Do you have children of your own? A family... waiting for you back in Kirkwall?"

"No. There's no one..." The question caught him off guard, why would she ask that? Then he amended, "Just my siblings, two sisters and a brother." 

She was quiet. If he had been talking to a soldier, this was where he would ask about her family. Except, he knew from her conversation with the Inquisitor that she was an orphan. Cullen's headache was getting worse, and that large meal he'd just eaten was not settling well. 

"I'm going to the valley tomorrow, to visit the refugee camp," she said at last.

A mage, Halani, wandering around the refugee camp? Cullen rubbed his temples. _Lyrium_. "I'll assign a templar to accompany you. Are you taking the twins with you?"

"No, Talora and Gerith will stay with Cornelia. Kiara and Paolo will go, they're apprentices," said Halani, an edge to her tone. "Why must I have a templar escort?"

"For protection..." The pain in his head had become excruciating. A groan escaped his lips before he could control it, and he leaned against the wall.

"Are you all right?" He sensed Halani reach for the fade and invoke her healing aura. She took his arm and guided him into his office, pulled him to his chair and ordered, "Sit, Commander."

He complied. A moment later her arms encircled him from behind and her fingertips pressed gently to both sides of his throat.

"Ready?" she whispered.

"Yes."

There was that scent again, her scent, like the tiny clusters of white flowers lining the walkway in summer, at home in Honnleath. Cool bliss flowed through him, washing away the pain in his head, cooling his burning pulse, and settling his stomach. He relaxed into the chair and found that his trousers were tight.

"How do you feel?" She said, warm breath touching his right ear.

If they had been standing together face to face, like that morning, he might have given in to the temptation to claim her lips with his. But this arrangement, with him in the chair and her standing behind him, gave him just enough separation to resist that initial urge. He took a deep breath, surreptitiously adjusted his position on the chair, and exhaled. "Much better, thank you."

He sensed her disconnect from the fade as she stepped away from him. There was a crease in the middle of her forehead. "I'm sorry, I should have done that right away."

"The delay was my fault," said Cullen firmly. Then because they'd been talking about family, he asked, "How is Cornelia?"

Halani smiled in that way that lit up her whole face. "Much better. She may be slow on her feet, but she's as tough and tenacious as ever."

Since the day Halani arrived, something had nagged at the back of Cullen's mind. He took a scrap of paper and quill from his desk and opened an ink pot. "Cornelia's son... can you remind me of his name and description?" 

Her smile faltered. "Why?"

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. "I might be able to find out more about him, and the circumstances of... what happened."

He made notes as she spoke, her voice flat. "His name was Rafael, he'd have been forty-three years old now if he was alive. The Chantry took him from Cornelia right after he was born. She discovered he had been moved from the Cumberland chantry to the Kirkwall circle when he came into his magic. He had blue eyes and red hair, although his hair might have been turning white like hers. Uh... Commander Rutherford, it is an old wound, and Cornelia is just beginning to recover."

"I understand." The truth was, he may have been too quick to tell Cornelia her son had died at the Gallows. Although his death was extremely likely, Cullen was not certain he remembered the man specifically. "I probably won't hear anything, but if I do I'll talk to you about it before I tell her."

"That would set my mind at ease, thank you, Commander." Halani shifted from one foot to the other, glancing around the room. "If there's nothing else, I'll return in the morning."

"Of course." He could think of no other excuse to keep her there. When her hand was on the door latch, Cullen said, "There _is_ one other thing."

She looked back at him with those large, dark eyes.

"You may call me Cullen, if you wish. Everyone does. Or Commander Cullen... Uh, that is, it's up to you." _Maker's breath_ , he was babbling.

She nodded. "Thank you... Cullen."

After the door shut behind her, Cullen unfolded the letter he'd written to Mia. At the bottom he wrote:

_P.S. Do you remember those white flowers that grew along the wall next to our house in Honnleath?_

While the ink dried, he picked up the scrap of paper with his notes about Cornelia's son, and wrote two more letters, one to the current knight-commander of the Gallows, and one to Aveline Vallen, guard-captain of Kirkwall.

Cullen got up from his desk and stretched, his gaze falling on his personal chess board, a gift from Varric. Someone had moved one of the white soldiers - a classic opening. A small part of him felt compelled to put the piece back and restore order, like when Sera messed with his desk. A larger part of him thought he knew who had moved the piece, and could not resist the challenge. Cullen shifted a black soldier, making the next move. 

* * *

**Halani**

Halani shut the Commander - no, _Cullen_ 's office door behind her, and headed down the stairs toward the upper courtyard and the Herald's Rest.

Kiara had been spending her evenings in the tavern with Cole, and Cole would be leaving on a mission with the Inquisitor the next day. Halani wanted to check on her.

The relative peace of the dark courtyard was broken when she pushed open the door and loud voices, laughing and talking, spilled out. Halani stopped just inside, taking in the smell of warm bodies, ale and other brews. A minstrel's performance barely penetrated the din.

"Hey. You look a bit lost."

Halani turned to see a beardless dwarf sitting alone at a recessed table scattered with sheets of paper. "Is it that obvious? There are not many taverns in a circle tower."

"That's probably why I try to avoid them," he said, smiling. "The name's Varric. Varric Tethras. Care to join me?" He closed his ink pot lid, placed the quill in a box next to it, and shuffled a stack of the papers to the side. The sheets in front of him were covered in writing, with whole sentences crossed out, and still-damp ink scribbled between the original lines and in the margins. He drained his tankard and signaled the barkeep holding up two fingers.

"My name is Halani, it's a pleasure to meet you." She took a seat, still scanning the tavern. "I'm looking for a girl, an apprentice. Seventeen, human, very short hair, tall and athletic. Her name is Kiara and she's been spending a lot of time with a young man named Cole."

"Kiara? Yeah, I know her. She's good for the kid, showing him how to be more, well, a person."

Halani turned her full attention to the dwarf. That was some impressive chest hair making up for his lack of a beard. "Cole mentioned someone named Varric."

"You can see him?" This dwarf had a certain likeable gregarious quality that was both practiced and genuine.

"We were talking about friendship." Halani had thought Cole was something like her, a mortal joined to a spirit. What did Varric think he was? "What do you mean, _can I see him_. What _is_ Cole?"

Varric shrugged. "Deep down, he's just a kid. A lot of people don't see him, or don't remember him later."

Clearly Varric could see and remember Cole, so at least she hadn't revealed something suspicious about her own nature. "It must be some kind of magic then... right?"

"How should I know?" said Varric. "Weird shit happens. Don't worry about the kid. Cole's all right."

"I know," said Halani firmly. "Have you seen Kiara?"

He pointed. "Table in the far corner."

Halani had to get out of her chair and crane around a center beam to see the indicated table, but sure enough Kiara was there with Cole. Halani waved, but the only acknowledgment Kiara gave was a crimson blush. Cole turned toward her and lifted his hand.

"I'll wait a bit before I interrupt," she said, and settled back into her chair. "Varric Tethras. You're an author, right? I saw your book in Cul... uh, Commander Rutherford's office."

Varric leaned back in his chair. "Uh-huh. I heard a pretty elf has been visiting Curly."

"Oh, um..." She should have known that Skyhold would be as ripe with rumors as any circle tower. "I'm not at liberty to discuss. But you could ask him."

He chuckled. "I think I will." A server arrived with two pints of ale, and Varric pushed one across the table to her.

"Thank you." She took a sip. The brew was dark and robust, much stronger than the watered-down ale served in the barracks mess-hall. She reached for the nearest loose sheet of paper, careful not to disturb the damp ink, and rubbed the edge between thumb and forefinger. "This is good quality paper. What are you writing... or editing?"

"Are you a writer?" asked Varric, obviously avoiding her question.

"Not at all. I like to draw, but haven't been able to lately," she said wistfully. "Is this paper made here in Skyhold?"

Varric slid a blank sheet across the table to her, and opened the box where he'd stored his quill and offered it. "Go ahead. Draw something."

Inside the box was a variety of writing implements. Halani selected a thumb-sized block of graphite. Anticipation and focus filled her as she felt the weight of it in her hand, the sharp and smooth edges. "Anything particular?"

"Your choice." Varric removed a quill from the box, sharpened it with a small knife, reopened the ink pot, and resumed editing his manuscript. Halani considered the blank paper for a moment, then began to sketch Varric, his head and shoulders.

She slipped into a familiar state of concentration and careful observation. The person before her became, to her eye, essential elements of planes and curves, light and shadow, space and mass, movement and stillness. By the time she'd recreated a likeness of the man sitting across from her, Kiara and Cole were standing next to the table, and Varric himself had stopped marking his manuscript to watch her.

"See? That's what I was trying to explain," said Kiara.

Cole said, "That looks like Varric. On the paper."

Halani stretched to drop the graphite piece back in Varric's box, wiped her smudged fingertips on her handkerchief, and pushed the drawing across the table to him. She lifted her tankard and took a deep pull. "Thank you for indulging me, Varric."

"Huh. Not bad, Doodles." After a moment Varric rolled the drawing into a tube and tucked it into his shirt. 

Cole murmured, "Remembrance and regret, a gift for her."

Halani took one last sip of her drink, still half full, got to her feet and faced Kiara. "It's getting late, and we all need our sleep. Big day tomorrow."

Kiara took Cole's hand, which seemed to startle him. "I wish you didn't have to leave with the Inquisitor tomorrow."

"That's why I'm here, to help the Inquisitor." Halani couldn't see Cole's face, but he sounded confused.

Kiara leaned toward him. "I'll miss you, Cole."

That huge hat tipped to the side. Cole murmured, "Twisting, tangled knots of wanting and... fear of wanting." 

Kiara huffed and stalked out the tavern door. Varric coughed. Halani hurried after Kiara.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halani comforts Kiara, Halani arrives at the valley camp, and Cullen talks to Varric.

**Halani**

"Hey. Wait for me," called Halani.

Kiara's long legs carried her across the courtyard at a fast pace, Halani had to run to catch up. Kiara didn't stop until she was halfway down the stairs leading to the terrace level, then she abruptly sat on a step.

Halani sat next to her, only slightly out of breath. From there they could see the barracks buildings, the mess hall and kitchen, and rows of identical cottages including theirs. One of the moons was low on the horizon and stars littered the otherwise dark sky. "What troubles you, Kiara?"

"Nothing," she snapped. After a few quiet moments, she exhaled and said, "And everything."

"Ah. Can you tell me what troubles you most?"

Kiara propped her elbows on her knees and rested her forehead in her hands. "I don't know where to begin."

"Is everything all right with you and Cole?"

"Yes? No? I don't know." She looked up at the stars and sighed. "He's not like anyone I've ever met. He's kind and strong and so compassionate. He experiences everything with a sense of wonder and when I'm with him I feel it too."

"And, he's about to leave for a few weeks."

"I really like him, Halani. I don't know how he feels about me. I'm not sure he knows himself." She leaned her head against Halani's shoulder, and Halani hugged her. Their height difference made the embrace awkward, but still comforting.

Halani tried to think of something wise and reassuring to say. Except for the last several months, she'd lived in the circle of magi under the Chantry's control since she was fifteen. The Chantry usually tolerated casual sex between mages, but there could be no marriage, no children. Falling in love could result in permanent separation at best, death or tranquility at worse. She had no advice, no lived experience to share with a teenage girl suffering from angst over a boy. "Sometime we just have to do our best, enjoy what we have in the moment, and wait to see what happens."

A tear fell against Halani's shoulder, followed by more. She stroked Kiara's back and reflected on how far Kiara had come since they'd arrived in Skyhold - she was finally beginning to express her feelings, finally able to grieve.

After a time Kiara sat up and wiped her face. "What will become of us mages, Halani? When this war is over, when there's a new Divine, will we be locked away again?"

If the Inquisition did not defeat Corypheus, it wouldn't matter. Even then, Halani would hold her adopted family with fierce determination. "We will find a way to live. In hiding, if necessary. It's my hope that the Inquisition's influence will make it possible for mages to live in peace with non-mages, at least in some places."

"I wish I was _not_ a mage," said Kiara. "I want to learn how to use a sword. Cole thinks a sword might suit me better than daggers. Then I wouldn't need to use magic."

Halani hugged Kiara again, holding back tears of her own. The worst thing about Chantry propaganda was how it made mages hate themselves for the way the Maker made them. How it twisted them into complicity with their own oppression. She knew of specialized training that combined magic and melee skills, but in her understanding of knight-enchanters, the Chantry kept them on a tight leash and students were selected because of their obedience as much as aptitude. "Tomorrow in the valley you can watch the new recruits, maybe inquire about sword training," said Halani reluctantly. The idea of Kiara joining the army as a soldier made her queasy.

Kiara seemed cheered by this plan. "You could learn too. Since, uh..."

"Since I can't harm or kill with magic?" Halani had never tested the limits to Protection's influence on her outside the fade and beyond magic. She probably couldn't harm another person with a melee weapon to save her life. But to save a family member, to protect others, might not conflict with Protection's nature. "You're right, I could at least try to learn."

* * *

The next morning it seemed all of Skyhold was awake early making preparations for the Inquisitor's departure. Besides the Inquisitor's starting team of Cole, the seeker, and the apostate elven mage, she was also accompanied by a qunari and a Tevinter mage, for backup. With her warm winter cape in hand, Halani hurried to Cullen's office while her family gathered with the rest of Skyhold's inhabitants to see the Inquisitor off.

People were going in and out of all three doors of Cullen's office, directed with calm precision by the commander. Halani positioned herself out of traffic and waited for a lull in activity. With a shiver of delight, she saw that Cullen had countered her move on the chess board.

The door closed behind the last agent. Cullen sat in his chair and motioned her closer. "Sorry, busy morning."

"I understand." She was quick, taking position behind him, fingers to his carotid arteries, restoration spell, and done. 

She stepped back as yet another aid pushed open a door and said, "The Inquisitor is about to leave, Commander."

Cullen got to his feet. "Thank you, Halani." He gave her a smile that warmed her to the core, then hurried out.

She paused next to the table with Cullen's chessboard and moved a piece, then hurried out to join her family among the throng in the lower courtyard. 

She found the twins with Cornelia at the edge of the crowd. Kiara was speaking to Cole, mounted on a horse in the procession. Paolo was already waiting by the passenger lift. She watched Cullen, speaking to the Inquisitor until the horses began to set off, then continuing to issue orders. Most of the onlookers dispersed as soon as the Inquisitor was out the gate.

Cornelia patted Halani's arm and said, "Perhaps it is time for a review of the spell for contraception."

Halani tore her gaze away from Cullen to watch as Cole turned in his saddle to look at Kiara, and she waved back. "I'm sure she hasn't forgotten and it isn't an issue yet, but I'll speak to Kiara."

Cornelia chuckled knowingly. "I wasn't talking about her."

Halani turned toward the old enchantress and sputtered, "I'm not-"

Her protest was cut short by the approach of the man in question along with a templar, the one who'd brought her to Seeker Pentaghast's office.

Cullen bowed to Cornelia. "Good morning, senior enchanter. You're looking well."

"Kind of you to say, Commander," said Cornelia, and winked at Halani.

"This is Lysette," said Cullen," She'll be your escort."

"We've met." Halani had nothing against this woman, but it irritated her that Commander Cullen thought one mage and two apprentices needed a templar chaperon to visit the camp. "Surely you must have more important things to do."

Lysette grimaced. "I'm just following orders."

"It's good to see you Gerith," said Cullen, ruffling Gerith's hair, "And you, Talora." He patted her shoulder.

He had accurately identified each twin. Halani was momentarily distracted from her irritation. Few people could do that so soon after meeting them, and yet Cullen had. 

"Now if you'll excuse me, I must return to my duties," said Cullen, charming as ever.

Lysette seemed to take that as a clue to head for the lift.

Halani briefly considered running after him to argue that she really _did not_ need an escort, but Paolo was gesturing and calling to her to hurry. Kiara was with him.

Halani hastily kissed Cornelia's cheek and hugged the twins, then caught up to Lysette. 

The platform was stacked with bags and crates full of supplies. Paolo boarded first, followed by Kiara and Halani. Lysette boarded last. While the operator disengaged the docking mechanism, Halani made introductions. "Serah Lysette, this is Kiara and Paolo. They're apprentices."

"Please, just call me Lysette," she said, her accent Ferelden. "I recommend that you put on your winter cloaks now."

Paolo gave her a polite nod, then focused on the lift operator and what she was doing. He was already wearing his cloak.

"How long have you been a templar?" asked Kiara, pulling on her cloak.

Lysette shrugged. Halani guessed she could not be more than a couple years older than Kiara. "I was a new recruit when the breach happened."

Kiara continued, "Why did you decide to become a templar?" Halani fastened her cloak, interested in her reply.

"I didn't want to be a cobbler like my father, and I wanted to do something worthwhile. Help people," said Lysette. "Now, I'm not sure what it means to be templar anymore. But with the Inquisition, I know I'm doing something worthwhile."

"And you're not a cobbler," said Kiara, smiling.

The whole platform seemed to shudder as the lift disengaged from the docking bay. Cold wind whipped around them, a harsh reminder that they were leaving the magic enhanced surroundings of Skyhold. Halani grabbed the railing to steady herself and looked over the edge at the spectacular view.

A river ran down the middle of the valley, and spread into a lake in the middle. Along the entire northern side, Halani could see a pattern to the settlement, like a town. She wondered what her home city of Cumberland would look like from the air. "Lysette, what can you tell us about the encampment's layout?"

The templar stepped between Halani and Kiara and pointed at the structures below, getting steadily closer. "That large section west of the structures and laid out in a grid - those are tents, the soldier's mobile camp. Straight down, around the landing bay, are warehouses storing supplies. Next is the temporary chantry, a few market stalls, two taverns and a brothel. That large rectangular building is the mess hall, where stew is served around the clock. The square building next to it is the infirmary. That cluster of workshops are the craft guilds, armorers and blacksmiths. That L-shaped building by the soldier's camp is the officer barracks, the oval building next to it is the bath house. On the other side with their tents laid out in concentric circles is where the mages are camped alongside templars."

"Where is the training yard?" asked Kiara.

"The area west of the soldier's camp is used for training. Plus, they're preparing for a full-scale training exercise that will take place on the south side of the lake in three days," said Lysette.

Halani asked, "Is there a camp for refugees?"

"Not a separate camp," said Lysette. "Civilians have pitched their tents around the perimeter, although many of the soldiers have family members staying with them."

Halani held her cloak closed against the chill wind as the platform brought them closer to the valley floor.

Lysette asked, "What do you plan to do here today?"

"There ought to be a school for the refugee children, and for young mages coming into their magic. I spoke to Mother Giselle, and I have her support to start one. She recommended that I determine how many children are in the camp," said Halani. "I thought I'd start by visiting the infirmary where Jacques, a mage from the Cumberland circle, is assigned. Then perhaps the mess hall. Do you have any suggestions?

"The chantry. Families with children, and orphans, come to the chantry for worship and help," said Lysette. "And, uh, many young people will have found work."

Paolo was suddenly behind them. "I wish I could apprentice with an artificer. Or one of those dwarven engineers. Or even a blacksmith."

"We'll ask Jacques if he's heard anything, Paolo." Halani gave his shoulder a brief squeeze. When had he grown taller than her? 

"And I want to watch sword instruction in the training yard," Kiara reminded her.

Paolo looked over the railing and gasped, "We're almost there." He resumed pestering the lift operator, who absently answered his questions.

Soon they descended into the shadows of buildings surrounding the mountain face side of the camp, and the whole platform shook as it settled into it's cradle.

They had arrived.

* * *

  
**Cullen**

After the departure of the Inquisitor and those she'd selected to accompany her to the Emerald Graves, Cullen spent an hour with Leliana and Josephine finalizing arrangements to back them up with agents in the field. On return to his office, he was unaccountably pleased to see that Halani had made the next chess move. No sooner had he moved his piece, than Varric appeared in the doorway leading to the rotunda.

"Hey Curly. Don't you ever take a break?"

Cullen folded his arms and leaned against his desk. "I'll take a break when we've defeated Corypheus."

"Is that right. Hmm. And here I thought you were beginning to learn how to indulge in some relaxation." He dropped into Cullen's chair.

Cullen narrowed his eyes and regarded the dwarf warily. He was fishing for information. "I'm busy, Varric. Can't we just cut to the part where you tell me what you want?"

"Who me? Just looking out for your best interests, my friend."

"Varrrric," Cullen stretched the dwarf's name into a growl.

"Okay, okay. You know how fictional stories often originate in real events?"

Cullen glanced at his copy of _The Tale of the Champion_ on his bookshelf. "How could I forget?"

Varric gave him an apologetic smirk. "There's a rumor going around Skyhold about a pretty elven mage seen entering a certain ex-templar's quarters at night and leaving in the morning."

" _Maker's breath_ ," sputtered Cullen. He paced across his office. He'd thought he could trust her. "It's not like that. What has Halani been saying?" 

"Nothing. I spoke to Doodles last night and asked her. She said, and I quote, _I'm not at liberty to discuss_."

That was a relief. "Then what is this rumor, exactly?"

"Think about it, Curly. _The pious templar and the sheltered circle mage._ The smut practically writes itself, and romance isn't even my best genre."

Cullen pressed his palms against the surface of his desk and sagged over it. "She's using magic to alleviate the symptoms of my... lyrium withdrawal symptoms," he confessed. "That's all, there's nothing going on between us. I wanted to keep the treatment a secret."

"You succeeded there." Varric chuckled, then became serious. "You really gave up lyrium? I didn't know templars could do that."

Whether or not he really could for the long term remained to be seen. Maybe it was a mistake to keep his struggle secret. "I have to try."

Varric rose from Cullen's chair and walked over to the table with the chess board. "I see you're making use of the set. Who're you playing with?" He reached out to the board.

Cullen turned abruptly. "Don't touch that."

"Uh-huh." Varric gave him a piercing look, but lowered his hand.

"We've just started the game. She comes by for the treatment and moves a piece, then after she leaves I move."

Varric grinned. "But there's nothing going on between you."

"No," snapped Cullen. "That would be inappropriate."

"Whatever you say." Varric made his exit, chuckling to himself.

Cullen looked down at the chess board. What move would she make next? He wished Halani was there now, so they could sit down together and play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sending a deep and heart felt _thank you_ to everyone who reads.  
> I'm grateful I can indulge in this creative project as occasional respite during this time of pandemic and upheaval.  
>  _Dareth shiral_


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halani visits the valley camp.

Lysette had become their guide, and Halani was grateful for her knowledge of the camp. Even with the map-like overhead view she held in her head, navigating between the irregular structures was confusing. From the lift landing bay, Lysette led them along pathways reinforced with stone and wide enough for wagons, past warehouses, between the chantry and one of the taverns, and past the huge mess hall. Halani let her winter cloak fall open, sheltered from the wind and warmed by the fast pace Lysette set.

Kiara asked, "Lysette, why did you choose to train with a sword and shield, instead of a two-handed weapon or a pair of lighter blades?"

Lysette seemed to consider the question. "I tried other combat techniques, and I'm still learning. That kind of fighting felt right, a balance of attack and defend."

"I want to try sword and shield," declared Kiara.

They found the Infirmary, much larger than Skyhold's, next to the mess hall. From buildings further on came the ring of hammer against metal, the craft guild workshops.

Halani opened the door and a young human man looked up from a work table, a medic by the insignia on his leather tunic. He appeared to be working on prosthetic limbs. "Can I help you?" 

"This is a social visit, I'm looking for Jacques," said Halani.

He gestured to a closed door across the room. "Enchanter Jacques and Medic Lillian are in a private exam room with a patient." A blond elf child, a little older than Gerith and Talora, stood just outside the indicated door and regarded them warily.

"Thank you, I'll wait," said Halani. She removed her cloak.

Kiara groaned. "How long are we going to be here?"

Halani considered her three companions. "Lysette, why don't you escort Kiara to a practice yard to watch soldiers sword training?"

"Yes!" said Kiara. "Let's go-"

"What about you and Paolo?" asked Lysette. "My orders are to escort all of you."

Paolo snorted. "Sword practice is boring. I want to see what _he's_ doing." Paolo was already crossing the room to the medic holding a wooden leg.

"We'll be fine. After I talk with Jacques, Paolo and I will go straight to the mess hall and meet you there," said Halani. She didn't want Lysette to get in trouble with Cullen, but really, this was an Inquisition camp. What could happen?

"Well, none of you are carrying staffs, so you're not obviously mages." Lysette appeared to make a decision. "All right. Just don't do any magic."

"Agreed," said Halani. "You too, Kiara. No magic."

"Obviously," grumbled Kiara, then followed Lysette out. 

With Paolo occupied, Halani walked over to the elf boy and sat in a chair outside the door. She felt someone in the next room open themselves to the fade to cast a spell. "My name is Halani."

He did not respond, but only looked at the door anxiously. 

"Who's in there? Your mother?" asked Halani gently.

The boy shook his head and did not look at her. "Mamae is dead."

" _Ir abelas_ , I am so sorry," said Halani. "Jacques is my friend and an excellent healer. He and the medic will take good care of-" she gestured to the door.

"My sister Paril," he said absently. "I'm Camrith." 

Halani wondered why the boy was not inside with his sister. From behind the door Halani felt Jacques release his connection to the fade. The boy flinched, as though he felt it too. _Interesting_. "Where are you from, Camrith?"

"A farm outside Redcliffe. Father's an archer in the Inquisition army."

A town like Redcliffe would have had a school run by the Chantry. "Did you attend school?" 

The boy glanced at her and shook his head. "Mamae taught us."

Halani hesitated, then asked, "Do you want to talk about what happened to your mother?"

"Templars were hunting mages that were doing scary things in the forest. They killed her."

"I... I'm so sorry," she said again. It wasn't clear which group was responsible for his mother's death. It could be either, or both, but to a boy like Camrith who'd lost his mother, they were all guilty. "It's not fair. It's horrible. The conflict has taken many innocent lives."

The door to the exam room opened. Inside was Jacques, with a human woman - Lillian she assumed - in her mid twenties with short brown hair, and a very pregnant blond elf who looked no older than Kiara.

"Paril!" exclaimed Camrith and rushed in to embrace his sister. In a serious adult voice the boy asked, "Is she healthy? Is the baby all right?"

"Yes, Camrith," said Jacques, "The baby _should_ arrive very soon."

The boy's face lit up with anticipation, but that relief was not reflected in his sister's face. "Thank you, healer."

Jacques made introductions all around, then Lillian walked with Camrith and Paril to the outer door. Jacques led Halani through a double row of empty beds to a table that served as a desk. He poured a cup of tea, then offered it to her. "Cold and stewed tea?"

Halani accepted it and he poured another one for himself. The tea was lukewarm, strong, and bitter. "Is there a problem with Paril's pregnancy?"

"Both she and the baby are healthy." Jacques ran a hand through his short, salt-and-pepper hair. "The baby is human."

"Are you planning to induce early?" Elven women had been giving birth to human babies for ages, but it was always risky. Delivering early improved the mother's chance of survival.

"Yes, we convinced her to come back this evening. The baby is due in two weeks and is already large even for a human. Paril's father doesn't know the baby isn't an elf."

Halani understood. In elven society, the stigma against an elven woman giving birth to a human child meant they were usually aborted early. The alienage orphanage where Halani grew up occasionally received human infants that were immediately transferred to the Chantry's human orphanage.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" asked Halani.

Jacques said, "Thank you for the offer. Lillian is an experienced midwife and between the two of us Paril should be fine and recover before the army training exercise. The medics will be on the other side of the lake."

"Lysette, the templar assigned to escort me, mentioned it," said Halani. "I thought mages would have more freedom in the Inquisition. Yet, we're still required to be supervised by templars."

"It's... complicated," said Jacques, stroking his white beard. "Many of the soldiers and civilians here have been impacted by the conflict between mages and templars. Loved ones killed, homes destroyed. Seeing us mages working _with_ templars, seeing us move around the camp together, helps sooth anti-mage sentiment and fears, and we have an opportunity to demonstrate the good magic can do."

"That... is a positive step," mused Halani. She wondered if that was why a certain ex-templar with golden eyes and a charming smile had assigned Lysette to escort her. 

She outlined her plan to set up an inclusive school for young refugees.

"Most of the patients we treat in the infirmary are soldiers, although we do get the occasional child or civilian, as you saw," said Jacques. "Not everyone takes their meals in the mess hall. Children are scattered throughout the camp, finding them all - or most of them- is no simple task."

"Have you encountered any young mages among the refugees?"

Jacques hesitated, then answered thoughtfully. "None who have outed themselves to me. But... I've no doubt there are some."

"They'll be afraid to reveal themselves. In need of understanding and help to learn control," said Halani, eyebrows knit together. The task she'd set herself was much larger than she'd first imagined. No wonder no one in the Inquisition had tackled it. "I'll need to visit every section of the camp to determine how many children are here. That'll take time."

"You could stay in the valley at the mage camp while conducting your survey," said Jacques. "It'd go faster."

"Uh." She had agreed to meet Cullen in his office every day, morning and evening, and she'd given her word not to tell anyone why. 

Luckily, Paolo chose that moment to interrupt. "I have some ideas for how to make prosthetic limbs better. Why replace an arm or a leg with a useless fake limb, when it could be a tool, or a weapon?"

Jacques stood up to give Paolo a quick hug. "I spoke to the camp blacksmiths on your behalf, Paolo. I'm afraid they're all working on standard weapons and armor for the army, and none were willing to consider a new apprentice with, uh, arcane talents." 

"Oh." Paolo's shoulders hunched.

"One of them mentioned a dwarf working with master smith Harritt, in Skyhold's undercroft. She suggested you speak to _them_ about your interests," said Jacques.

Paolo brightened. "I will."

Halani got to her feet. "Let's go meet Kiara and Lysette."

She and Paolo backtracked to the mess hall. It had four rows of tables, larger than the mess hall on Skyhold's terrace, but not large enough to accommodate the entire army at the same time. The savory smell of stew and freshly baked bread beckoned them to the buffet across the room and reminded her of how long it had been since breakfast.

A dark-haired warrior sat at a table near the door surrounded by a group of young children, distributing toys. Halani stopped to watch.

"I'm hungry," said Paolo, looking longingly across the room.

She gestured toward the buffet. "Go ahead."

Halani took a seat. She counted eleven children in all, three elves and eight humans, ranging in age from perhaps five to twelve. On the table were carved wooden animals, creature totems, and toy soldiers. The human knelt, putting himself closer to eye level with them, and offered their choice of toy starting with the youngest. His voice was both gruff and kind as he spoke to each of them about the toy they'd chosen, and about striving to be their best selves. Halani wished she had paper and graphite, to record their names and sketch their faces.

When all the toys had been given away, the children dispersed. In some cases a waiting adult stepped forward and murmured their thanks, but most of the young ones simply ran off. The man got to his feet and turned to Halani, aware of her scrutiny. Standing, he was larger than she'd thought and he had a griffon insignia displayed on his gambeson. A thick black beard obscured much of his face, though his eyes crinkled in the corners.

He bowed. "My lady."

She couldn't remember anyone calling her _my lady_ before. "My name is Halani. It's good of you to give them toys."

"They should have the opportunity to be just children, even when the world is falling apart." He sat down and faced her. "It's selfish of me, really. Feels good to think I've made them happy, even for a little while. The name is Blackwall."

"A pleasure to meet you, ser Blackwall. Or should I call you Warden Blackwall?"

"Just Blackwall is fine."

She was pretty sure there was a closed-lip smile under all that facial hair. He was the first Grey Warden she'd ever met. Maybe he knew something about her friends. "I'm from the Cumberland circle of magi. Some of my fellow mages set out to join the Grey Wardens. Have you heard anything about them?"

He shook his head. "I've not heard anything from the Wardens. I was traveling alone for months when the Inquisitor found me in the Hinterlands. I'm sorry, I don't have any news about your friends or the Wardens."

Halani reminded herself that no news was not necessarily bad news. "You've been helping the children among the refugees. Any idea how many there are?"

"Too many," said Blackwall, sadly. "Why?"

"Children also need the opportunity to learn. I want to start a school."

Blackwall gave a slow nod. "I'm just a soldier, a Grey Warden. But if I can help, I will."

Paolo returned with a tray of food just as Lysette and Kiara arrived, and Blackwall agreed to join them for the midday meal. By the time they finished, Kiara had convinced the knight to give her and Lysette some melee combat pointers in Skyhold's training yard the next day. 

All afternoon Lysette acted as tour guide, showing Halani, Kiara, and Paolo around the camp. Paolo and Kiara both lingered in a blacksmith's workshop and Halani observed a crafter making paper, but otherwise they kept moving. The sun was low on the horizon when they secured their winter cloaks and boarded the evening lift back up to Skyhold. 

The camp shrank below them as the lift ascended, and the cold wind billowed the cloaks and mussed their hair. Halani had barely started on her task, but she'd made progress and she had a plan for her next visit to the valley camp. Once the lift platform was secured in the docking bay, Halani thanked Lysette for her help and sent Kiara and Paolo to their quarters on the terrace.

Then Halani climbed the stairs to Cullen's office.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kissing and argument

**Cullen**

Cullen had spent the afternoon making arrangements and finalizing schedules for a series of large scale drills and military exercises he was planning for his growing army in the valley below. Each time the Inquisitor was away on a mission, he made use of her absence to personally prepare the army for battle.

He stood and stretched. There were only a few more details to finalize in the morning. If Josephine or Leliana needed him for something or they received a bird from the Inquisitor, they'd know where to find him. The chess board had not changed all day, and he wasn't expecting Halani until after the evening meal. A soft knock sounded at the northern door and he opened it to find her looking up at him, startled.

"Oh. I, uh... hope I'm not interrupting. I just returned from the valley, and I thought I'd come by early. Since I was already nearby." Her skin was flushed, and strands of her dark hair had come loose from her braid, windswept from her ride on the lift.

He took a step back and ushered her in. "Now is perfect. Come in."

"How are you feeling?" She went to the table with the chess set, flashed him a radiant smile over her shoulder, and made her next move. "Are you ready for the restoration spell?"

He hesitated. Was she in a hurry to leave? He had thought to delay his treatment, to have an excuse to keep her there longer. "Yes, of course."

She reached toward him, hands to both sides of his neck. "Ready?"

"Ready." His templar-trained senses felt her connect to the fade and he remembered too late he should be sitting in his chair. His constant headache faded, tight muscles relaxed, the queasiness vanished. The comforting scent of tiny white flowers surrounded him. Halani's lips parted, soft and inviting, her cheeks flushed as her half-lidded eyes held his. He managed, just barely, to keep his hands clenched at his sides and control the urge to do something inappropriate.

Halani completed the spell and released her connection to the fade. Her eyes held his for a long moment. Then instead of stepping back and dropping her hands, her fingers tangled in his hair and she surged up on her toes. Her lips met his.

The touch was so fast and unexpected, Cullen froze.

She drew back and gasped. "Sorry. I... I shouldn't have."

He recovered fast. _She_ had kissed _him_. He caught one of her hands before she could move away and gave a gentle tug, pulling her back to him. Then he brushed a strand of loose hair behind her pointed ear with his free hand. "I wouldn't mind if you did it again."

She trembled and licked her lips. Only his years of practicing self control kept Cullen from moving, letting her decide. Halani said, "I'd like that too." Slowly this time, she rose up and pressed her lips lightly to his.

He in, her lips were as soft as they looked. He supported her, so much shorter than him, with his hand against her back. A careful, gentlemanly kiss. He pulled back slightly and smiled as she slowly opened her eyes.

"Cullen," she murmured. She slid her hands around his waist and up his back, molding her body against his, and kissed him again. 

He shuddered and claimed her mouth with all the pent-up passion of the last few days. Exploring her lips, her teeth, her tongue with his. She met his onslaught with equal enthusiasm, her breath in ragged gasps. 

He let go her lips and peppered kisses along her jawline and neck. She leaned back, baring her throat to him. He adjusted his embrace to hold her close and walked her backward toward his desk until her backside was braced against the table's edge.

She gasped, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hungrily.

The door behind Cullen banged open. Cullen swung around to face the intruder, and Halani scrambled away from him.

A young man from the kitchen staff stood in the doorway to the rotunda holding a large tray of steaming food.

"What?" snarled Cullen.

"C- Commander Cullen," he stammered, "V- Varric told me to bring your evening meal. Dinner for two, he said."

Cullen fought the urge to throw the man out, with the tray. But then, the prospect of sharing a meal with Halani was appealing, and the meal smelled wonderful. "Please put it down on the desk."

The man did as asked, while glancing at Halani and up at his loft quarters. Then he left, closing the door behind him. Damn Varric, the rumors would be rampant.

Halani looked back at him from across the room, cheeks flushed and lips slightly swollen. An awkward silence stretched between them.

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. "Would you care to join me for the evening meal? We can, uh, continue the chess game."

"I'd like that." She gave him a small uncertain smile.

Cullen brought the extra chair from across the room to his desk, shifted the tray of food over, then carefully moved the chess board from the side table to his desk without disturbing any of the pieces. He held the chair for Halani.

"Thank you," she murmured, taking the seat. "I believe it's your turn."

He walked around the desk to his own chair, and noted the last move she'd made was not what he'd anticipated. He moved his piece, then turned his attention to the meal. Two plates, a wine bottle, two glasses, and simple Ferelden fare - cooked vegetables, roasted chicken, and fresh baked bread. It all smelled delicious. Halani waited patiently for him to do... something. "I'm not sure what the proper etiquette here is."

"Shall we serve ourselves?" She handed him a plate.

He thought of family meals when he was a child. His father had always insisted that his mother and sisters serve themselves before the men. "You go first."

While she filled her plate, Cullen poured the wine and tasted it. A strong red, from Varric's personal stock. Then it was Cullen's turn to pile food on his plate while she surveyed the chess board and made her next move.

They ate together in companionable silence, pausing in turns to continue the chess game. It pleased Cullen to see that she had a hearty appetite.

Halani picked up her wine glass and drank deeply, then coughed. "That's... strong."

"It's from the Free Marches. Do you like it?" asked Cullen.

"Yes." She looked away. "We only had wine that was watered-down in the circle."

Cullen nodded, recalling concerns about drunk mages. "There's something I'd like to discuss."

She set down the wine glass, her expression wary. "Of course."

Cullen put down his fork. "When the Inquisitor is away on a mission, I usually conduct training exercises in the valley, so the army will be ready when we face Corypheus. I oversee the drills myself, or at least as much as time will allow. I'll be going to the valley tomorrow, and I'm planning to stay for three or four nights."

"Our morning and evening schedule will be disrupted," said Halani."I could stay in the valley also."

Cullen exhaled, relieved she understood immediately. "Exactly."

"This works out well for me. I have a task that needs some time in the valley."

Plan details shifted in Cullen's head. He wouldn't need to change the lift schedule, but she would need temporary quarters. "You can stay in the officer barracks with me."

She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it, then cleared her throat and started again, "Uh-"

"In separate quarters, of course," Cullen added hastily, realizing how that might sound. Especially after... they kissed. 

Halani's cheeks and the points of her ears flushed. "I was going to suggest that I stay in the mage camp. I've kept the restoration spells secret as you asked, but there are rumors. And I wouldn't want to... that is, you're the Inquisition Commander. You have a reputation to maintain."

 _She_ was worried about _his_ reputation. Cullen thought of the man who delivered their meal and recalled the conversation with Varric... "It was foolish and vain of me to want to keep the treatment secret. I've already informed my aids, and you may feel free to tell anyone you'd like."

Her eyebrows raised in surprise. "Thank you. Since we'll be away for a few days, shall we finish this game?"

Both of them gave their full attention to the game. One piece after another left the board, captured. Halani proved she was not only beautiful, but innovative and bright. Finally, they were down to the last move.

"You win," said Halani. "That was an enjoyable game."

She was a worthy opponent indeed. "I look forward to a rematch."

"As do I." Halani tipped back her wine glass.

Cullen lifted the wine bottle, offering to refill her glass, but she declined. Thinking back on their conversation, Cullen asked, "What is your task in the valley?"

"The children among the refugees have food and shelter," said Halani. "But they need a school."

"We don't have one?" The need for a school hadn't occurred to him before. Leliana or Josephine, or... "Perhaps Mother Giselle has organized something."

"Mother Giselle has offered to advise me, but no one with the needed authority has had time," said Halani. "Cullen, you have before you a monumental task - preparing the Inquisition's army for war. And _of course_ that is far more urgent. I have nothing to contribute to war except faith that you will prevail, and belief in a future for the children of Thedas."

Cullen usually experienced a wave of anxiety when someone reminded him of the depth of his responsibilities. But just now, the conviction in Halani's voice, and the warm support in her eyes, filled him with confidence. "What about Gerith and Talora? They're mages."

She looked down, quiet for a moment. In a soft, cool voice she said, "The school I create will be for both mages and non-mages, humans and non-humans. To learn together. As equals."

"No," blurted Cullen. "We can't put mages in a school with normal children."

She stared at him, expression blank and emotionless, the mask of a circle mage confronted by a templar. "Why not?"

"Mages are too dangerous. Young mages especially must learn to control their magic," said Cullen. He could not forget his years of training or the horrors he'd witnessed. The unimaginable torture he'd endured.

"By imprisoning mages? Even children?"

Cullen sighed, exasperated. "I know it's cruel. I didn't always understand that. But... _there is no other way_."

"How do you know?" Her voice wavered with barely contained emotion. "How many other ways have you considered? How many other ways has the Chantry tried?"

"Apostasy is dangerous." Cullen scoffed. "Apostates resort to blood magic at the slightest provocation. They don't have the discipline that is taught in a circle." 

"The Chantry declares any mage it doesn't control an apostate and only allows circle mages to be trained under Chantry control."

He could not argue with that point. From the Chantry's point of view, all mages were apostates now. "In Tevinter mages control everything, and the chant of light-"

"The chant of light teaches that magic must serve man," interrupted Halani. "It does _not_ say that magic is evil. And yet that is what the Chantry teaches. The Chantry has always gone to great lengths to make all knowledge about magic - how to control magic and how to safely use magic - _secret_."

Cullen rose to his feet. "To protect people from magic!"

"Does the Chantry protect people from swords?" Halani stood to face him.

"It's not the same thing," growled Cullen. 

"On that we agree. It's not the same because if one man uses a sword to murder a dozen people, only that one man is blamed and executed. If one mage murders a dozen people, then all mages are blamed and entire circles can be slaughtered."

Cullen countered, "Mages are constantly tempted by demons. Mages can become abominations."

"Does your sword tempt you to run into a swarm of darkspawn alone? Does holding your sword make you so arrogant as to believe you're invincible? How many acts of magical violence are the result of mages terrified for their lives and the lives of the people they care about? It's true that a few mages have let their pride convince them they could make a deal with a demon and still maintain control. But _understand this, Commander_. The rest of us mages know that making a deal with a demon is suicide. A Last. Desperate. Act. Have you ever been in a situation where you faced certain death and the only option you had left was to _make your enemy work for it_?"

Cullen was temporarily speechless. He had said almost those same words to the Inquisitor at Haven when Corypheus attacked, before chancellor Roderick told them of an escape route. He rubbed the back of his neck. This was too much to take in at once, he needed to think. "What is it you want to do, exactly?"

" _Break the secrecy and that surrounds magic!_ Teach all children the facts about magic from a young age, before young mages reach an age when their magic can manifest. Show ordinary people that magic is a talent like singing or drawing, a skill like sword wielding or weaving. Then when a young mage comes into their magic, she or he will understand what's happening to them. Mages of all ages could seek guidance and training willingly and without fear."

Cullen imagined the circles rebuilt and mages turning themselves in willingly without templars hunting them down. "Do you really think that would work?"

"Yes. I absolutely do." She wrapped her arms around herself, and spoke with passion. "Right now across southern Thedas, young mages are coming into their magic. They are frightened, with no one to explain. Their own families and villages have been taught to hate and fear them. There are no templars to take them away, no circles to take them to. Many of them will be killed. Some of them will succumb to demons, because that is the only help they can get. Some will go into hiding and never receive the training they need. Once the Inquisition defeats Corypheus, the treatment of mages can't go back to the way it was. We can't have lasting peace until there is equity for mages."

Cullen could not answer. His desk separated them physically, but the gulf between them was enormous. As attractive as Halani was, she was still a mage. He should not allow himself to fall for a mage. Not again.

Halani cleared her throat. "When do you plan to take the lift into the valley tomorrow?"

"After the midday meal," said Cullen.

"I'll be there," she said. And she was gone.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halani encounters another Inky companion, talks with Cornelia, and visits Cullen's nightmare.

**Halani**

Halani barely managed to shut the commander's office door without slamming it, and stifled a sob with one hand firmly covering her mouth.

She ran down the stone stairs and past the Herald's Rest tavern. The sun had set and the courtyard was lit only by torches. She punched a practice dummy in the training yard, wishing she could cast destructive magic for the first time since the Cumberland battle between mages and templars. Then she came to a stop in the shadows of the armory, and leaned her back against the cold stone wall where she sank to the ground.

Alone and hidden, she gave way to her emotions, allowing the tears to flow. How could she be so foolish? The man was a templar. She shouldn't have kissed him. She shouldn't have feelings for him at all. But _Maker's breath_ , her body had betrayed her. She _wanted_ him in a way she had never desired anyone before. Lucky for her, Varric sent that tray of food. Otherwise she probably would've proved one more mage stereotype true.

What if she had just sabotaged her own plans for a school? She should have meekly agreed with all the commander's assumptions about mages, gotten his approval and support, then gone ahead and done what she knew was right. Mother Giselle would help. That woman was influential and loved the Chantry while clearly seeing the Chantry's flaws. It was foolish vanity on Halani's part, trying to convince Cullen to see her point of view. She should not care what he thought of her and other mages, and yet _she did_. And now that she had laid bare her hopes and plans for the school, what if Cullen interfered?

No. Halani thought of Talora and Gerith and dried her eyes. No, she would do whatever she could to make Thedas a better place, not just for the children she loved, but for all of them. She took several deliberate deep breaths, and cast a restoration spell on herself. Then she got up, and brushed herself off, and stepped out of the shadows.

  
A figure suddenly appeared in the gloom a few steps away. An elven woman with short hair spoke to her with a Ferelden accent. "Hey-a, you all right?"

"I'm fine," said Halani. The elf must have heard her crying. "It was... nothing. I'm the victim of my own pride."

The elf huffed, sounding unconvinced. "Someone bothers you, tell me and I'll give 'em what for."

"Thank you, but that's not necessary," she said, bemused. "My name is Halani. What's yours?"

"Sera." She moved into the torchlight. "Halani, huh? Blackwall and Varric were talking about you. Wantin' to start a school. Didn't say you was an elf. So... You and commander-perfect-hair, huh?" She made a kissing sound, along with a graphic gesture - poking the forefinger of one hand into the loose fist of the other.

"Um, no. It's not like that." Rumors were spreading faster even than in a circle tower. When the Inquisitor returned and Halani made her petition, would the Inquisitor take her seriously? "I only visit the Commander twice a day as part of his treatment."

"Riiight." Sera managed to leer and stretch out the word into several long syllables. "Ugh. Come to think on it if he _was_ your Cully-wully he wouldn't be so tight-wound, if ya know what I mean. A man like that needs a woman above him. Because... positions." She cackled at her own joke.

Halani hardly knew how to reply. This person was observant but seemed to have no filters at all. It was both endearing and off-putting. And apparently, Sera was friends with Blackwall and Varric. "I appreciate your offer of help, Sera. I really do."

She shrugged. "If ya need te find me... got a room at the tavern."

Halani headed down the stairs to the terrace level, to her home among the cottages, and eased the door open. Cornelia sat at the small table with Paolo by her side working on a drawing of some contraption.

She patted Paolo's shoulder and kissed her old mentor's cheek. "Is everyone else in bed?"

"Kiara just came in and the twins are asleep," said Cornelia. She took hold of Halani's chin and gave her face a knowing once-over before releasing her. The old woman never missed a thing. "You took your time." 

Paolo asked, "Will you go with me to the undercroft tomorrow?"

"Of course. In the morning after I call on the Commander," promised Halani. "Back in a moment."

Gerith was asleep in the tiny room he shared with Paolo, arms splayed and one foot poking out of the blanket. Halani tucked him in, kissed his forehead, and whispered, "Ar lath ma." She knocked softly on Kiara and Talora's bedroom door. 

At Kiara's groggy affirmative grunt, Halani opened the door. Kiara turned over and mumbled, "G'night." 

Talora was curled on her side, and it appeared that Kiara had just tucked her blanket around her. Halani kissed Talora's temple and whispered, "Ar lath ma." Then the same to Kiara, "I love you."

Kiara grunted in reply as Halani closed the door. 

In this moment, their lives were so _normal_. Sadness gripped her. Kiara and Talora, Paolo and Gerith, all of them should have a _right_ to this normal. To fall in love, to grow old with a life partner, to raise their own children if they wanted. She could not bear the thought of the Chantry-controlled circles recreated, of her beloved family locked up for the rest of their lives.

Paolo passed her in the hallway on his way to bed, and she gave him a fierce hug that he accepted and returned.

Cornelia waited for her at the table with two fresh cups of lemon balm and rosemary tea.

Halani inhaled the tea's aroma. The pine-like scent of the rosemary recalled oakmoss and Cullen, counteracting the relaxing mint.

"Kiara and Paolo enjoyed their visit to the valley," said Cornelia, a not-so-subtle prompt.

"The camp is far larger than I expected. It will take me a few days to visit each part of it, to get a reasonable count of the children," said Halani. "I'll be going back tomorrow after the midday meal, and staying for a few days. Can you handle the twins on your own?"

"Of course." Cornelia snorted. "Paolo will help, and Kiara too. What about your visits to the commander?"

Halani scowled. She was still angry with Cullen, but most of all she was angry at herself for expecting an ex-templar to be open-minded about mage equality. "He'll be in the valley too, conducting training exercises with the army. I've been casting my restoration spell on him, to help with his lyrium withdrawal symptoms. This evening he rescinded his order to keep the treatment secret. I should have told you what I was doing, regardless."

"I guessed as much," said Cornelia. "But there _is_ something personal between you, isn't there?"

"I did kiss him this evening," Halani admitted. "Foolish of me. I won't do it again."

Cornelia chuckled and shook her head. "Why ever not? You're young. He's handsome. We don't know what the future will bring, dear. Enjoy the present. Enjoy _him_ , if you want to."

Cornelia had spent most of her life in the Cumberland circle, it surprised Halani that she didn't advise more caution where a templar was concerned. "What about the school? Won't it look like I'm trying to influence him?"

"It'll look that way whether you're bedding him or not." Cornelia sipped her tea. "I've spoken to Fiona, and we'll have her support and her influence behind us. I'll introduce you when you get back. Fiona thinks the spymaster, Leliana, will also be an ally."

"That's wonderful news. I can't wait to meet Grand Enchanter Fiona. The more allies the better," said Halani, and blew on her tea.

Cornelia frowned. "We may have an adversary as well. Vivienne, Madame de Fer, has joined the Inquisition."

Halani recalled what she knew about Vivienne. "She was Empress Celene's Court Enchanter, and leader of the mage Loyalists." 

"And she does not miss a single opportunity to insist the circles must be reformed, so she can made the next Grand Enchanter," said Cornelia. She added thoughtfully, "Vivienne is also an extremely skilled Knight-Enchanter."

Halani swallowed her tea, and sighed. They'd talked about Kiara's aptitude for Knight-Enchanter training. "Do you think she would consider teaching Kiara?"

"Maybe." Cornelia huffed. "If she thought Kiara was talented and connected enough to be worthy of her attention, a student to further her ambitions."

It was an unusually catty comment for Cornelia. Halani squeezed Cornelia's hand affectionately. "I'm grateful you taught me." No other senior enchanter at Cumberland circle had wanted to teach an apprentice with her limited abilities. Cornelia probably suspected Halani's connection to Protection, but she never asked, and Halani never told her. That would make Cornelia complicit if she was ever found out.

Cornelia gripped her hand in return. They finished the tea and quietly retired to the beds in their shared room.

* * * 

She sat cross-legged next to a garden path, back against a stone wall, surrounded by a woody carpet of fragrant sweet alyssum. Halani got to her feet and absently brushed off the leather breeches and tunic she usually wore in the fade.

The path led around a charming cottage on the outskirts of a village, but this fade-rendering of the physical world was different to what Halani was accustomed to. Insubstantial and vague. Protection waited for her in a vegetable garden behind the cottage, in the form of Jaca Bersca, the dwarf who delivered Halani to the Cumberland alienage as a child.

Protection's form, solid and vibrantly detailed, stood out among the hazy carrot tufts and pea vines. Halani stopped to examine a tomato flower, and the whole plant dissolved into mist. "Protection, where-"

A human woman emerged from the cottage's back door, holding an infant and herding three children. She was pretty, but with tired circles under her eyes. "Off you go. Be back before dinner."

The eldest of the three children, a girl, took charge. "Come on, Branson and Cullen. Mum needs to rest while Rosalie naps." They ran down the path, laughing and chattering, toward the village.

That was... Cullen? And this was _his_ dream, the fade experienced by a non-mage. "Protection, this is private. I shouldn't be here."

Protection looked up at her with Jaca's face. "We are called. He needs you."

Halani wrestled with her conscience a moment longer, then hurried after the fade-children, Protection beside her.

The path changed to stone. The three children grew and changed into full-sized adults wearing plate armor. Stone walls appeared around them. Halani followed three templars down the hallway of what she assumed was a circle tower. "This part of the fade is as clear and substantial as the corporeal world. Where are we?"

"This is Kinloch hold, the Ferelden circle," said Protection. "A site of many nightmares."

Halani rounded a corner. A despair demon held a much younger Cullen in a vice-like grip. One of his companions lay, half-changed into an abomination, in a bloody mangled heap at his feet. The other screamed as a second despair demon ripped him apart with its talons. Gore was everywhere, oozing even from the walls. The metallic tang of blood mingled with the stench of severed bowels. Cullen wept and pleaded for it to stop, closing and opening his empty hands.

Halani manipulated the fade to put a sword in Cullen's hand.

The change in Cullen was immediate, he was his older, stronger self. He wrenched free of the demon holding him and wielded that sword with all the mastery and confidence of a seasoned warrior. In seconds, both demons were vanquished.

But then, another figure appeared. A naked, beautiful woman. Cullen seemed to recognize her. He backed up against the stone wall and dropped the sword, young Cullen once again.

The woman advanced on him. She caressed her breast seductively, her other hand reached for him and stroked between his legs. A desire demon.

Cullen clenched his hands at his sides and turned his face away. "Begone, demon! I will _not_ give in to temptation!"

The desire demon took hold of his chin and forced him to look at her. Suddenly, the demon was shorter, slim like an elf, pointed ears, long dark hair...

Halani gasped. The demon looked like _her_.

"Enough!" She focused. Stones erupted from the floor into a wall that threw the demon back and separated it from Cullen. Halani made a circular gesture and the growing wall of stones surrounded the demon and closed it in.

With elbows bent and palms out, Protection made a pushing motion. The narrow stone prison sank into the floor, taking the demon with it to another part of the fade.

Cullen stared at Halani as he bent down to pick up the sword. Then he woke up.

Pale mist swirled around Halani and Protection. They were alone, somewhere else in the fade.

"How could I enter Cullen's nightmare?" Was it a memory? Anxiety-fueled imagination? She could never ask him - just being there was an appalling invasion of his privacy. "You told me I can only visit the dreams of people connected to me. People I love. When they need me."

Protection looked up at her with a curious smile. "That is still true."


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and Halani prepare to spend a few days in the valley camp.

**Cullen**

Cullen did not sleep well.

Once in bed, it was hard to shut his eyes. He kept replaying the heated conversation with Halani over in his head. She stood up to him as no other mage had, and made arguments he'd never considered. He thought of things he wished he had said, and things he wished he had _not_ said. He alternated between regret and relief that she'd left so abruptly.

When he'd finally drifted off to sleep, he'd been faced with his old recurring nightmare. He woke in a cold sweat.

Cullen gave up attempting to sleep, got out of bed, lit a lamp and began packing the few essential items he usually took to the valley when he conducted training exercises with the army.

Since beginning Halani's treatments, he'd slept much better. Until that night his dreams had been unremarkable - he rarely remembered them. But this time... the old nightmare had changed. He wasn't helpless, he had a sword. But then the desire demon appeared, not as the object of his youthful infatuation at Kinloch hold, but as Halani.

Cullen paused in his packing. Had his duffle shrunk? He removed everything and laid it out on his bed. He'd packed his shaving kit, teeth cleaning kit, his entire array of Orlesian hair products, scented soap, extra small clothes and socks, and a spare clean tunic and trousers. He groaned. He'd be wearing a helmet and working physically all day every day with his officers and troops. It was ridiculous to think he'd have the time to bother with personal grooming.

He resolutely repacked the essentials - teeth cleaning kit, comb, and small clothes. They fit in the duffle, as usual.

Outside, the courtyard below his window was dark, still at least an hour before sunrise when Halani would visit him for his morning treatment. After a moment's hesitation, he packed the non-essentials arrayed on his bed in a second duffle, and climbed down the ladder to his office intent on getting more work done before it was time to leave.

* * *

**Halani**

Halani awoke with a start to Talora's face framed by unruly curls, a hand's width from her nose.

"Are you awake?" whispered Talora.

Halani hugged her and looked past the girl to Cornelia in the other bed, snoring softly. No tickle-induced giggling _this_ morning, she'd let Cornelia sleep. Halani put a finger to her lips in answer, then gathered a change of clothing and her toiletries and followed Talora into the front room. Kiara was already there, yawning.

She took the two girls with her to the bathhouse. Although Kiara had begun to feel safe, she still insisted Halani go with her to wash, and for the next few days she'd be away in the valley. They didn't linger to soak in a pool, but hurried back to their cottage as the sun peeked over the horizon.

Cornelia and the boys were awake and waiting for them. A package had arrived wrapped in cloth, and sat on the table waiting for her.

"Hurry up and open it!" urged Gerith and Talora in unison.

Inside the wrap Halani found a book, similar to a spell book that she could attach to her belt, but with blank pages. There was also a pouch with graphite sticks and lumps of pigment, a small knife, and brushes. When she opened the book, written across the first page in a neat scrawl were the words, _to Doodles_. "It's from Varric."

"Varric Tethras, the author?" gasped Cornelia.

"What a kind gift," said Halani. And useful. She pondered whether it was appropriate to keep it while she quickly packed for the valley. Halani and her family traipsed over to the mess hall together, so she could share breakfast with her family before she left. This would be her first time separated from them for any length of time since the battle between the Cumberland mages and templars.

"Can we go with you?" asked Talora around a mouthful of bread, layered thickly with jam.

Gerith chimed in, "Yeah, I want to go."

Halani swallowed her bite of sausage and said, "No, Da'len. I'll be busy, and you'd get bored." And bored twins were a recipe for trouble. She'd spend the whole time searching for them and putting right whatever mischief they got up to.

"Pleeease?"

"It's not fair-"

"-Kiara and Paolo-"

"-got to go."

Halani said, "After I get back, I'll take you both. We'll make a special trip."

Cornelia sternly said, "I've lessons planned, catching up on your training."

"I'm looking forward to you two showing me everything you've learned while I'm gone," said Halani, smiling. A part of her hoped to introduce the twins to the Inquisitor, examples of young mages she hoped would attend school with non-mages. Young mages who were simply children.

Gerith and Talora gave each other that look that Halani recognized as the harbinger of mischief. 

Cornelia must have noticed it too, because she said, "And later, the cook has agreed to a special desert."

"Cookies?" asked the twins in unison, any rebellion seemingly forgotten.

"He said you can help make them," added Cornelia, with a wink at Halani.

A pang of regret washed over her. She wouldn't be there to share in the twin's fun. But for now, she'd made a promise to Paolo, and it was already past the usual time for her morning visit with Cullen. Halani started to leave.

"Can we go to the undercroft _now_?" asked Paolo.

"I need to visit to the Commander in his office first," said Halani. She was not sure she was ready to face Cullen after the argument last night, to speak to him alone. "Why don't you come with me? We can go directly from there."

Paolo grinned and hurried up the terrace stairs, across the courtyard, and up the battlement stairs ahead of her. Halani ran after the boy and arrived at Cullen's office door flushed and out of breath.

"Beat you!" announced Paolo.

Halani laughed. "Yes, you did." She opened the door to find Cullen behind his desk, giving instructions to one of his aids while another aid waited. The scowl on Cullen's face while speaking to the aid was like a bucket of cold water on Halani's good mood. But then he saw her and that crooked smile transformed his face and sent a flood of warmth through her whole body. _Maker's breath_ , it wasn't fair that he was templar.

After an awkward pause he said, "You're here."

"I apologize for the interruption," said Halani. "May I, uh-"

"Yes. Please." He sat in his chair and motioned to her.

Paolo waited at the other door - the one to the rotunda - as Halani quickly walked around Cullen's desk and gently pressed her fingers to his neck from behind. At his murmured consent, she cast the spell while his aids watched, then stepped back. "I can see you're busy."

He opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something, then glanced at their audience and cleared his throat. "Yes, well... I'll see you at the lift."

She wondered, as she and Paolo made their way across the walkway bridge, what he might have said, if they'd been alone. But then she and Paolo entered the rotunda. The circular room was adorned with incredibly stunning murals painted across the high walls. It was a style she recognized, but couldn't place. "This is magnificent." She examined a section close up, then stepped back to take it all in - the story of the Inquisition so far - making a slow pirouette. "The pigments, the skill. This is amazing."

Paolo backtracked and looked up at the wall. "Yeah. Uh, it's pretty. Come _on_."

Halani huffed, promising herself she'd find out who painted those murals, and followed Paolo. It was her first time in the great hall, and she could barely keep up with Paolo and take it all in. Enormous statues flanked the hall, tapestries decorated the walls, and nobles in their finery milled about, chatting with each other. Paolo hurried ahead toward an empty throne, but then veered right to a door and stopped, staring at it anxiously.

She squeezed the young mage's shoulder. He was so excited to find a teacher who shared his interests. So nervous. So hopeful. "Don't worry. Just... be yourself."

They pushed open the heavy door together. A human man was working the forge. "That must be Harritt," said Halani. She started forward, but Paolo held her back.

"Don't interrupt until he quenches the blade," said Paolo.

They waited at the top of a short flight of stairs. The undercroft was an impressive work space - huge, cave-like, and with a spectacular view. Strange workstations for making things Halani could not even guess lined the wall to their left, and a dwarf seemed to be busy at the far end of the cave. Although Harritt glanced in their direction, he continued hammering a glowing-orange blade. Halani felt it would be inappropriate to wander around without an invitation, or at least acknowledgment. Finally, the blacksmith slowly lowered the blade into a tall barrel of water with a hiss of steam, then drew it out and held it in front of him, evaluating. Seemingly satisfied, he laid it on a table and faced them, hands on his hips.

"Are you master smith Harritt?" asked Halani.

"I am," said Harritt. "And who might you be?"

"I'm Halani, and this is Paolo. One of the army camp blacksmiths suggested that we speak with you."

"I craft special orders for the Inquisitor and her inner circle," said Harritt, folding his arms, "If you want something made, you'll need to go through the Inquisitor or one of her advisers."

The pretty dwarf had stopped whatever she was doing and walked over, looking at them curiously.

Paolo said, "I want to learn, ser. I want to apprentice to an artificer."

Halani remained quiet, allowing Paolo to speak for himself. Harritt was shaking his head, but it was the dwarf who spoke.

"Where are you from? What are your skills? I'm Dagna, by the way."

"A pleasure to meet you, serah Dagna," said Paolo, eager but with respect. "I'm from Cumberland... the circle. I love to figure out how things work, and how to make them work better."

"Me too," said Dagna, cheerfully.

Paolo added, "I'll follow orders and be a good apprentice, a good student. That is, if you'll consider me."

"A mage." Harritt groaned. "Just what we need around Dagna's experiments... or around my forge."

Halani spoke up. "Paolo has excellent control of his magic. No accidents. We're hoping to find an experienced force mage to help him make more use of his skill."

"Force magic... telekinesis!" gasped Dagna. "I wonder..."

"What are you working on?" asked Paolo. "It looks fascinating."

"I'll show you. Come on."

As Dagna led Paolo to the far side of the cave, he began asking questions like he had some idea what the workstations were for. Dagna responded, enthusiastically describing her work. Soon the two of them were speaking so fast that Halani couldn't follow their conversation.

Halani gave Harritt a sideways glance. "Is she always so cheerful?"

"Yes." Harritt sighed deeply, and grumbled, "Two of 'em." Then he picked up the sword he'd been working on and examined the blade. "If you'll excuse me, I've work to do."

She let herself out. Paolo was in his element. Even if Dagna didn't want an apprentice, he'd enjoy himself for a couple hours at least.

Halani took her time to stroll back down the great hall and appreciate the grandeur of the Inquisition's seat of power. Even with the Inquisitor herself away, Ambassador Montilyet entertained visiting nobles from all over southern Thedas. Human men in stiff, formal attire, and human women in elaborate gowns, loitered at tables sipping wine and engaged in conversation, presenting themselves in calculated ways she knew was beyond her clear comprehension. Like sword play, Halani knew just enough about the Game to know she could not hold her own and should not try.

She had nearly reached the huge main doors when she saw a familiar dwarf sitting at a table next to the fireplace, a pile of paper in front of him.

"Varric," she said. "Are you busy?"

"For you, Doodles, I'll take a break." Varric put down his pen, and gestured to the empty chair beside him. Halani sank into it.

"Thank you, Varric. For the book, and the drawing tools," said Halani. "It was very generous. How can I possibly repay you?"

Varric opened his arms expansively. "You're a talented artist. Consider it a contribution from a patron of the arts."

Heat rose up in her cheeks and ears. She had never really thought of herself as an artist... she drew what she saw. For fun, mostly. "I hardly know what to say. Except, thank you again. Do you know who painted the murals in the rotunda? They're so beautiful."

"Yeah. Chuckles did that."

She must have heard him wrong. "Who?"

"Solas. You know... ser serious elven apostate... always with the Inquisitor?"

Now she remembered where she'd seen that style of mural. Protection had shown her something similar, in the fade. "I, uh, I've not met Solas."

A knowing smile spread across Varric's face. "You will." Before she could ask what he meant, Varric said, "I'll introduce you, if Curly doesn't."

She guessed Curly was his name for Cullen, which reminded her that she wanted to see Talora and Gerith again before she left for the valley camp. She got up. "I need to go. Thank you again, Varric, for the drawing supplies."

* * *

**Cullen**

Cullen completed the final report and dismissed the last aid. By the time he returned from the valley there'd be a whole new pile waiting in his office, but for the next few days he could devote his full attention to his primary concern. The Inquisition's forces.

He put on his full armor, easier to wear than to pack, and took up his... _two_ bags... and headed down the stairs to the fortress gates.

Halani waited at the lift platform, bundled in a winter cloak in preparation for the descent, a rucksack slung over her shoulder. This woman intrigued him in so many ways. Cullen suddenly wished the two of them were going somewhere alone together, instead of into the valley and the army camp where there was little privacy and he'd have no free time. But just now, it was only the two of them and the operator, along with a load of supplies.

"Thank you for coming." He offered her his gauntleted hand, to assist her onto the lift.

She regarded his hand with something like consternation, then looked up at him, through long, dark lashes. "Commander Cullen, you are the epitome of a gallant knight."

"And you, Halani, are... so beautiful," he blurted. Her eyes opened wide, and Cullen feared he'd gone to far, but she smiled and gripped his forearm.

She didn't let go after they stepped onto the platform, or even after it left the docking bay. The wind whipped around them as they left the boundaries of Skyhold. Cullen was more-or-less alone with her as the platform lowered and they looked down at the camp together. He had a limited amount of time to say what he had rehearsed during his wakeful night.

"I wanted to apologize for last evening," said Cullen, gently turning her toward him. "I was dismissive. And while I may not agree, if you're willing to help me understand your point of view, I will endeavor to keep an open mind."

"I accept." She reached up with one hand and ran her fingers along his jaw with a small shake of her head. " _Maker_ , I don't think I can resist you." She licked her lips, and her thumb grazed the scar on his mouth.

"Then don't." He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, so soft. Her lips joined his eagerly, mouth parted, her tongue seeking his. He encircled her with his arms, supporting her body while he explored her mouth. His plate armor functioned as a barrier between their bodies and enforced his singular focus on just her mouth and the deep, thorough kiss.

Sounds from the camp below them got louder, and Cullen reluctantly broke off the kiss to end in a final, gentle press of his lips.

Halani opened her eyes slowly and blinked, then looked below them. "We're here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deeply appreciate my readers. Thank you so much for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halani visits the chantry.

**Halani**

Halani had intended to pay close attention to the camp layout as the lift descended, to solidify the map in her head, perhaps even draw one in her new book. But when Cullen held her in his arms and kissed her, every other thought fled from her mind, and she lost all track of time. And now a small crowd of onlookers were staring at them, having just witnessed their very public display of affection. A few clapped. Even in the chill, her cheeks and ears felt hot, and she guessed her blush was as deep as Cullen's.

The lift platform lurched, then settled into the docking bay. Cullen once again offered his arm to assist her on disembarking, and she accepted, happy to prolong their moment together.

An elven man of late middle years with a graying brown ponytail and wearing Inquisition colors greeted Cullen with clipboard in hand. "Commander, I am agent Anar. I am here to review your schedule on your way to the officer barracks."

"I remember you, Anar. I appreciate your assistance," said Cullen affably. "This is Halani."

Anar looked her up and down with disdain. "Of course. Your, uh, companion. Shall we go?"

The man took her place next to Cullen and began a continuous commentary of about his schedule - names, times, activities. Halani didn't try to listen, but instead focused her attention on their surroundings. Anar led them along a different route than Lysette had taken her before, and after the chantry they passed a tavern and a warehouse, then skirted a market area to walk past another tavern, the craft guild camp, a brothel, and a bathhouse to arrive at the officer barracks.

They marched down a long center hallway, where officers stood in doorways to salute their commander and stare curiously at Halani. Finally Anar and Cullen arrived at a large door at the outer corner of the L-shaped building, and Anar held the door open.

It was an enormous office, dominated by a large table in the center with a map of the valley spread out across it. She guessed this was where Cullen and his officers made and adjusted plans for the troop training exercises.

"I've made the modifications you requested, Commander," said Anar.

Halani followed his gesture to a corner of the room, where a narrow bed, armor stand, and washing table had been set up.

Cullen dropped his bags on the floor next to the bed. "Well done, Anar."

Officers from the hallway began to file into the room. Cullen took her hand and for a moment she thought he would kiss her, but instead he gave her his charming, crooked smile. "I'll see you at dinner." Then he began greeting each of the officers by name.

Anar ushered Halani out of the office, then opened the next door. Inside was a well-appointed bedroom with a full-sized bed, a vanity and wash table, an armoire, and a desk against the far wall. "Who's room is this?" she asked.

"This is Commander Rutherford's room. He gave instruction that you would be sleeping here for the next few nights," said Anar in a disapproving tone.

A pang of guilt twisted Halani's stomach. Cullen had given up his room for her. He'd be working hard and would need his sleep, no wonder Anar had taken a disliking to her. She resolved to speak with Jacques about staying in the mage camp. "The commander is very generous."

A human man appeared in the doorway. He was short for a human, with pale skin and white-streaked black hair, and wore the flaming sword emblem on his breastplate. He smelled of long-term heavy lyrium use and deterioration. A templar.

Anar said, "This is ser Ivan Barton, he'll be your escort in camp."

Halani would have preferred to explore the camp on her own. Without a staff most people wouldn't know she was a mage. And yet, Lysette had turned out to be friendly and helpful. "Thank you, ser Barton. My name is Halani."

Barton's gaze raked over her. "Enchanter."

Anar looked at his clipboard and addressed the templar. "Enchanter Halani is on the schedule to attend the officers' dinner. See that she is there early." He exited the room.

Halani crossed the room and set her rucksack on the desk and extracted the new sketchbook and pouch of writing tools Varric had gifted her. An unpleasant twinge ran down her spine, and she turned to face the templar.

Barton had taken a menacing step toward her, forehead wrinkled in concentration. He was blocking her connection to the fade and obstructing her exit through the door. He drew his sword. 

Halani's mouth went dry. Without a staff for focus, she couldn't raise a barrier. If she screamed, help would be too late. After everything, she was about to die by a templar's hand.

He was staring at the book in her hand. 

"Wait. Please. It's not a spellbook." She opened it with shaking hands, and flipped pages to show him they were blank. He eased his sword back into its sheath, but the disorienting sensation of being separated from the fade continued.

He snatched the book from her hand, and looked through it himself.

"It's a sketch book." Years of dealing with templars enabled her to remain calm and speak in a reassuring tone. "For drawing."

"Then why aren't there any drawings?"

"It was given to me just this morning." Now that the threat to her life had eased, she feared he would keep the book or destroy it. "Please, I need it to take notes. I'm working with Mother Giselle to set up a school."

Barton abruptly shoved the book toward her. She took it slowly and bowed. "Thank you, ser Barton."

He grunted and walked through the door into the hallway. Halani leaned against the table as her sensation of the fade returned. She controlled the immediate urge to reach for the fade and cast barrier. Who had assigned this templar to escort her, and why?

She clipped the book to her belt and followed Barton into the hallway but hesitated at Cullen's office. Beyond the closed door she heard the muffled voices of Cullen and his officers as their meeting progressed. Tempting as it was to open the door, her interruption could only delay the critical work he had to accomplish.

"I will take you to the chantry now," said Barton.

Halani only nodded. The chantry was not where she'd planned to go first, but it was a start.

* * *

She followed in the templar's wake as he traversed the camp-turned-settlement to the chantry. Unlike when she'd walked with Cullen, or Lysette, Barton marched in a straight line, expecting people to move out of his way. Although this garnered him a few irritated curses, Halani noticed familiar fearful glances and a few who changed direction to avoid the templar completely. 

The chantry, like all the buildings, was made of wood, not stone. Barton unexpectedly held the double doors open and closed them after she stepped into the main entrance. The scent of burning incense greeted her, and she was surrounded by the usual high-ceiling hallway. A row of alcoves on both sides were illuminated with votive candles, some occupied by human adults, praying. Familiarity brought comfort, it was one of the ways the Chantry maintained its power throughout southern Thedas.

Barton forged ahead as before, but Halani stopped at one of the alcoves and looked up at the stature of Adraste, shown as a warrior. Halani had never found comfort in the human's Maker, or the elven gods for that matter. It was after Divine Justinia V released the New Cumberland Chant of Light three years ago, re-including the so-called Dissonant verses and even the canticle of Shartan, that she saw how the Chantry had distorted Andraste's message to maintain its power over the masses in Thedas by controlling magic. Andraste herself had been a righteous human, a friend and ally to the elves and did _not_ despise magic. 

Halani knelt before the statue and lit one of the votive candles. _Andraste, if you can hear me, help the children of Thedas. Help me succeed in this endeavor._

When she got to her feet, Barton was waiting. He stood aside so she could proceed first this time. Halani walked to the hall's end and the central altar. There she paused and listened to the young voices coming from behind a partition to the left. On the other side she found a chantry sister of middle years standing before a group of twenty-three human children ranging in age from around eight to twelve years, each seated on the floor and reading aloud from the Chant of Light. Halani recognized the canticle of Andraste.

_"Heart that is broken, beats still unceasing,_  
_An ocean of sorrow does nobody drown._  
_You have forgotten, spear-maid of Alamarr._  
_Within My creation, none are alone."_

The sister - a tall Orlesian woman - looked her up and down but did not interrupt her lesson. Her students glanced at Halani then returned to their texts. These children appeared be the sons and daughters of merchants and officers, wearing simple but clean and well-made clothing. Barton remained standing and recited the verses along with the children. Halani sat on the floor where she could see all of their faces, at least in profile, then she took a chunk of graphite from her pouch and opened the sketch book.

Halani roughed out a drawing of each child's face, two or three to a page as they were grouped to share texts, as well as their teacher. Then, across two pages she sketched a map of the whole camp - something she'd intended to do on the descent from Skyhold, if not for the welcome diversion of Cullen's apology, and his kiss.

The chantry sister ended her lesson, and as Halani got to her feet, the children gathered around her. They pointed at her drawings, exclaiming, "That's me!" and "Look, there you are!"

"My name is Halani, Mother Giselle is going to help me set up an Inquisition school. What're your names?"

Each of them told her in turn, and she wrote a name next to each drawing.

"Hey, I saw you on the lift with the commander," said a preteen girl. Two other children made kissing sounds.

"That's enough," said the sister firmly. "Off you go, back to your responsibilities."

The children filed out, giggling. Halani blushed and closed the book, she had not considered how people in the camp would react to her arrival with Cullen.

"I am sister Albercia." With an undercurrent of hostile self-importance she said, "This, as you have just seen, is the Inquisition school, and _I_ am the school mistress and instructor."

Halani inclined her head in a polite bow. "A pleasure to meet you, sister." Her task would be easier with this woman's help, why hadn't Giselle mentioned her? "There are many more children in camp, do you teach other classes?"

Albercia snorted. "The parents of my students understand the value of an education and express their appreciation with appropriate and generously."

Halani struggled to keep her face impassive. Of course, this woman only taught children whose parents could afford to 'donate' to Chantry coffers... or Albercia's own pockets. "What about elven children?" She was pretty sure at least a few elven parents could afford to pay.

"Teaching elves to read would be a waste of my time. Elves are lazy and stupid, good for nothing more than manual labor and carnal distraction." She sneered at Halani and folded her arms. "I thought, coming from the order, Commander Rutherford would have more sense."

Shame and disbelieve tightened around Halani's chest. That was what this Chantry sister thought of elves? What she thought of Halani?

An unpleasant satisfied smile twisted Albercia's lips, as though Halani's reaction was exactly what she'd intended.

Through clenched teeth, Halani said, "Clearly we have nothing to discuss," and strode out of the chantry as fast as she could move without running.

She let the door close on its own behind her and leaned against the outer wall, taking deep breaths. She knew some humans felt that way, but she'd come to think of herself as a mage first, and an elf second. In the circle, human and elf mages were treated much the same. Growing up in the alienage's orphanage, she'd been surrounded by elves. Sister Albercia, she realized, was a little taste of what life might be like for her outside the Inquisition with the circles disbanded.

Barton burst through the chantry doors, and Halani felt the queasy sensation of separation from the fade. But then he saw her and the feeling vanished.

She stood up straight and brushed the dampness from her cheek. "I'll visit the market stalls now."

* * *

[Link to a map of the Skyhold Valley Camp as I imagine it.](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dttnr1FqE9vx7cuR63X5WEl8XWmCRXg2/view?usp=sharing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My humblest apologies for taking much longer than usual to post this chapter!


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